It should totally be our dad. But she's got so much anger displaced onto to him right now that I worry she'll totally shut down if he goes up there.

Or maybe they'd fight and have the angry sex and fix everything. Who the hell knows. Some days, I really, really, really miss that 2500 mile buffer.

I don't think you or your sister should have to. Unfair to either of you.

So, parents, how did you decide whether or not to have a 2nd child?

My younger sibling is a non-neurotypical nutcase, and we got it right with the first one, so why risk a second?

I found it exceedingly rough to be the older sibling of a kid with issues (I wasn't issue-free, but his were more severe, and parents triage). I wouldn't risk putting my kid through that.

In all honesty she would probably come home, ignore us for a week being mad at us for not understanding her pain, and then call as if nothing ever had happened.

In that case, I say ignore her. Let her figure it out on her own this year. You and your sister both have your own stuff on your plate right now.

Aims, that sounds frustrating as hell. If you're not afraid of her hurting herself, and it doesn't sound like that's a thing that's going on, I'd say let her get herself home.

Thanks, sj.

Yeah, Aims, it sounds like leaving her alone and braving a week-long cold shoulder might be the best solution.

WEll, if she'll just sulk when she gets home, leave her be.

I think it is perfectly rational to say " sorry , I don't have time to get yelled at right now ".

of course, I had no sleep last night and I am perfectly willing to smack anyone that might deserve it.

Many brackets to Spidra.

Aims, that sounds frustrating as hell. If you're not afraid of her hurting herself, and it doesn't sound like that's a thing that's going on, I'd say let her get herself home.

This.

It seems that fetching her back makes that a Ritual, and I kind of distrust those. Every family kind of has its own code, though, so. Really, Spidra, I'm here and I never heard about that. Might be interesting.

Ugh Aimee.

So, parents, how did you decide whether or not to have a 2nd child?

I knew from the get go I wanted to have more than one if it worked out that way. Would have tried for a third if money and age were no object.

And all I can think is, I'll never go over to their house again and get to spend time with her, and I can't stand that. I told Tim that last night, and he said, "Well, I had her for 44 years. You were just getting to know her and wanted to know her better. Of course you feel that way."

Aw, The Boy. I might be sniffling a little bit.

Spidra, what an awful year you've been having. I'm so sorry.

Aims, yikes, that's a shitty situation for all concerned. I don't know what I'd do in your place, but I agree that leaving her there for a while (as long as you're not worried that she would hurt herself, and I realize that might be a tough call to make) sounds like good advice.