That immediate period after is so fucking surreal.

Concur. I kept instinctively looking for my mom at her own funeral.

Yup. My grandfather died when we were visiting, I remember seeing his body carried to the ambulance. But still expected him to come around the corner. Same thing with a childhood friend's mother. Existence is weird.

I was able to help out with cleaning and organizing stuff, and in the afternoon the funeral home dude came out to plan the visitation and while the family discussed that, I took everyone's cell phones and the house phone into the den and intercepted calls and took messages.

That is awesome! I remember when my aunt and I were talking to the funeral guy for Larry's arrangements and my GODDAMN DAD KEPT CALLING ME BECAUSE HE COULDN'T FIND MY MOM AT THE AIRPORT. IN CONNECTICUT! I was in Virginia at the time.

You know, he went home instead of parking the car and paging her (her cell was dead). Her brother just died and he left her at the airport. And called me over and over again to get me to... fix it?

OMG, there's the rage again.

Tep, I'm glad you checked in and that Tim makes you laugh. It's important to continue to laugh. Life goes on.

The funeral isn't until Tuesday, because 2 other people in their parish died in the last 24 hours (CREEPY)

That's what happened with my mom's funeral! We're from the tiniest little town and there were two other deaths the same weekend. The funeral director was all kerfuzzled because he'd never had to handle three viewings/burials at one time. We thought it was creepy too.

Huh. So the rule of threes isn't just for celebrities? Neat and creepy at the same time.

Steph, I've lost a lot more people than is normal for my age. Tara said, "It's always sudden," and she's not wrong, but I want to add, "There's always fruit punch moments." That is, there's always those moments where you start thinking: So-and-so isn't dead. I'm just crazy and they're just in the other room.

You are the world's best partner. Tim is so blessed to have you, as is his family. I can't believe how quickly she went, but I'm glad she isn't suffering and I'm glad you all have been spared from watching that. Take it easy and trust yourself. You're a treasure.

The first days truly are a strange, surreal time. Life just...goes on, and it's so hard to believe that it does.

The quiet pause after the crescendo of Event. There's another crescendo to come, the funeral, the denouement, perhaps (or the musical equivalent). And then the lights come up, and you look around and realize that it's time to try and go back to where you were before It All Happened.

And then the lights come up, and you look around and realize that it's time to try and go back to where you were before It All Happened.

Except that where you were before isn't anywhere to be gone to anymore, there is just this weird new Here that doesn't have the person you lost anymore. And you have to realize that again and again and again, countless times. It's part and parcel of the surreality, that feeling that you will wake up and it won't really have happened and you can go back.