It's because you didn't have a strong father figure isn't it?

Joyce ,'Chosen'


Spike's Bitches 45: That sure as hell wasn't in the brochure.  

[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.


hippocampus - Jul 24, 2010 12:16:00 pm PDT #26508 of 30000
not your mom's socks.

Hellokittyfan just swam across the short end of the neighborhood pool. I'm awed. And feel like she's getting so big so fast.


beekaytee - Jul 24, 2010 12:40:55 pm PDT #26509 of 30000
Compassionately intolerant

smonster's link a ways back, about 'service heart' was really interesting.

In that respect, I'm closer to Steph's stance of liking to do service, but also liking the service to be acknowledged. Not so much in the 'you did good' sense, but in the 'the good did good' sense. The project worked, the advice made a difference, etc. That's why my membership to the networking group this year was such a waste. They talk about service and sharing important information but what they really want to do is share mojitos. I've got nothing at all against the sharing of rum drinks whatsoever, but my bank account would have preferred knowing that going in.

Anyway, the Happiness Project author mentions the term 'darshan' in that article.

The term is described here.

I thought it was going to answer an age old question of mine but I'm not totally satisfied with the answer. She says, darshan is:

Darshan is a Sanskrit Hindu term meaning “sight” or “auspicious viewing.” Darshan is the beneficial glow that comes from being in the presence of a great spiritual leader (or holy place or object). Merely looking at such a person – and even better, receiving his or her glance – bestows a blessing.

Which she goes on to explain why Katie Holmes and Victoria Beckham ask that people don't look them in the eye and why people crowd up to celebrities. The former doesn't want their energy depleted by admirers and admirers want to be blessed by a glance from them.

Does this adequately explain people being star struck or sport obsessed?


WindSparrow - Jul 24, 2010 12:45:15 pm PDT #26510 of 30000
Love is stronger than death and harder than sorrow. Those who practice it are fierce like the light of stars traveling eons to pierce the night.

Interesting concept, bonny. Dunno any answers about it, though.

Sean, what a relief.


Hil R. - Jul 24, 2010 12:51:02 pm PDT #26511 of 30000
Sometimes I think I might just move up to Vermont, open a bookstore or a vegan restaurant. Adam Schlesinger, z''l

Too many boxes. Way too many boxes.


beekaytee - Jul 24, 2010 12:54:42 pm PDT #26512 of 30000
Compassionately intolerant

Yeah, Sean. Relief is good. This has been my worst month in a long time. I am familiar with the pinch.

On the darshan thing...I'm fascinatedrepelled by the screamy-grabby, I must have a piece of you, behavior of fans and admirers. But more than being appalled, I just sincerely don't get it. If anything, I'm infinitely more reserved around people I admire precisely because I admire them. I'd rather not disturb and/or look stupid.

So, when otherwise intelligent, not pathological people seem to lose their heads, I just don't understand.

Years ago, a friend visited me in San Diego and nearly fell out of the car window, lunging toward and yelling at a limo. "Hello famous person!" he cried, with a glassy eyed enthusiasm. I was moved to tell him that 90% of all limo rentals in the area, at that time of year, was to teenagers.


omnis_audis - Jul 24, 2010 1:35:56 pm PDT #26513 of 30000
omnis, pursue. That's an order from a shy woman who can use M-16. - Shir

Too many boxes. Way too many boxes.
Hil, I know the country you are in. I am on the other side of that. While greatly depleted, there are still too many boxes. But think, as soon as they are all packed, you get to head north, and teach, and earn money, and more importantly, put a lot of distance between you and that asshat "adviser" of yours.


§ ita § - Jul 24, 2010 1:40:50 pm PDT #26514 of 30000
Well not canonically, no, but this is transformative fiction.

Katie and Posh must be on crack if they think themselves holy enough for darshan. That's a bunch of crap. They're not Nelson fucking Mandela.

When someone makes eye contact with me, they're not taking anything away from me. There's just as much of me left behind. And if I want to make eye contact with Jensen Ackles it's because he's incredibly pretty, and it's different when the pretty locks eyes with you. Not the he has an auspiciousness I want to take a bit of from him.

If people are having those sorts of relationships with random famous people, they need balance in their lives.


Hil R. - Jul 24, 2010 1:41:52 pm PDT #26515 of 30000
Sometimes I think I might just move up to Vermont, open a bookstore or a vegan restaurant. Adam Schlesinger, z''l

put a lot of distance between you and that asshat "adviser" of yours.

I still need him to sign one more form. As usual, he's not replying to emails. But one of his other students has a defense next week, so I know that he'll at least be there then.

The moving company is also not returning my calls. I got the estimate and contract from them, but wanted to talk it over with my parents before signing anything. So now I've signed it, and I need to know where to send it and what day to expect the moving truck to come, and I can't get an answer.


omnis_audis - Jul 24, 2010 1:46:24 pm PDT #26516 of 30000
omnis, pursue. That's an order from a shy woman who can use M-16. - Shir

[link] too cute not to share.


beekaytee - Jul 24, 2010 1:49:58 pm PDT #26517 of 30000
Compassionately intolerant

If people are having those sorts of relationships with random famous people, they need balance in their lives.

This is exactly my point. The curiosity is what creates the circumstance, within which, they don't have that kind of balance...or control.

One of my favorite docs includes an interview with Bob Geldof talking about the 'streams of urine' that flowed across the floor during Boomtown Rats shows. The girls were in such a state of agitation/ecstasy, they actually lost control.

It's probably completely incorrect, but the answer I'm currently entertaining is that people want so much to be someone, or somewhere, other than who and where they are, that they give over their power to these symbolic icons.

Do we learn that from media and social expectation, or was there a Neanderthal Elvis?