Personally, I think that anyone commenting the size of someone else's family is rude as fuck.
Even more rude than commenting on the size of someone else's refrigerator?
Everybody dies, Tracey. Someone's carrying a bullet for you right now, doesn't even know it. The trick is to die of old age before it finds you.
Mal ,'The Message'
Spike's Bitches 45: That sure as hell wasn't in the brochure.
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
Gudanov - Jul 01, 2010 5:24:22 am PDT #24446 of 30000
Coding and Sleeping
Aims - Jul 01, 2010 5:24:49 am PDT #24447 of 30000
Shit's all sorts of different now.
I'm mostly ok. I need to email her and say, "I know you didn't mean to be hurtful, but there aren't any more children because there are issues." but I know - I flipping KNOW - that she's going to reply with how she couldn't conceive anymore after D and how sad she was and wtf-ever. I can hear that from friends and know that it's coming from a place of empathy. I can not hear her in a place of empathy - we don't have that relationship. Largely because I reject it, for damn sure.
Like our friend R, who made the "you need more kids" comment in the first place. I know he's joking with me because he has a shit ton of kids who are all over 10 and who do all the chores. We joke about his little housecleaning army. There's an inside joke there. But as my MiL, she doesn't get to say "Agreed". It's awhole other ball of wax. Unless I'm just being cranky. Please tell me if I'm just being cranky.
sj - Jul 01, 2010 5:28:11 am PDT #24448 of 30000
"There are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as afternoon tea."
{{{Aims}}} I'm sorry for the cluelessness.
brenda m - Jul 01, 2010 5:31:19 am PDT #24449 of 30000
If you're going through hell/keep on going/don't slow down/keep your fear from showing/you might be gone/'fore the devil even knows you're there
We joke about his little housecleaning army. There's an inside joke there. But as my MiL, she doesn't get to say "Agreed".
Oh, yeah. That's not cool. You may be cranky, but she's the one who took it to a serious (and hurtful) place.
WindSparrow - Jul 01, 2010 5:40:36 am PDT #24450 of 30000
Love is stronger than death and harder than sorrow. Those who practice it are fierce like the light of stars traveling eons to pierce the night.
That's a crappy situation, Aims.
Gudanov - Jul 01, 2010 5:41:24 am PDT #24451 of 30000
Coding and Sleeping
Sorry she took you to a hurtful place.
Seska (the Watcher-in-Training) - Jul 01, 2010 5:43:05 am PDT #24452 of 30000
"We're all stories, in the end. Just make it a good one, eh?"
Ugh. That's horrid, Aims.
Vortex - Jul 01, 2010 5:43:34 am PDT #24453 of 30000
"Cry havoc and let slip the boobs of war!" -- Miracleman
I'm mostly ok. I need to email her and say, "I know you didn't mean to be hurtful, but there aren't any more children because there are issues." but I know - I flipping KNOW - that she's going to reply with how she couldn't conceive anymore after D and how sad she was and wtf-ever. I
I don't know if I would do that. Then you are inviting her into your issues, and if she's clueless now, she might say even more (unmeaning) hurtful stuff because she thinks that you're bonding.
Jessica - Jul 01, 2010 5:46:30 am PDT #24454 of 30000
And then Ortus came and said "It's Ortin' time" and they all Orted off into the sunset
But as my MiL, she doesn't get to say "Agreed". It's awhole other ball of wax. Unless I'm just being cranky. Please tell me if I'm just being cranky.
You are absolutely not being cranky. She's being insensitive and needs a thwapping with a clue-by-four.
BUT, I would not send any kind of response yourself. I would make Joe do it.
Aims - Jul 01, 2010 5:46:38 am PDT #24455 of 30000
Shit's all sorts of different now.
You are absolutely right, Vortex. And Jessica.
I am trying really hard to change my attitude toward her. I know that it hurts Joe that I don't much care for his mother. He knows it's not *new*, my not liking her, but I want to try to not be so hostile. She's his mom. She's my child's grandmother. It makes things that much harder. But then she says stupid shit like always, and I fall back into being hostile and angry.