I don't want to damage that relationship any further.

While I can totally see why you said this, I can't stress enough how much you are not damaging your relationships by being an adult. If being yourself is 'damaging' that's some powerful, and sad, information about the choices others are making.

The heartbreaking thing about your sister's form of Stockholm Syndrome, is that she can fool herself into thinking that she is just oozing with filial piety, and think she's got the moral high ground. But the best thing you can do for her, is to continue defending your (entirely reasonable) boundaries, and maintain your personal integrity.

P-C, you are a nicer person than I am. If I were you, I'd probably save that e-mail until your sister is in a similar situation and the forward it back to her.

Oh, don't think one hypothetical response wasn't "When you're going through this in four or five years, remember this e-mail. I sure will."

But as my brother said, I can't do that. I'll have her back, even if she doesn't have mine. She doesn't realize I'm trying to help her too right now.

But as my brother said, I can't do that. I'll have her back, even if she doesn't have mine. She doesn't realize I'm trying to help her too right now.

I hope that some day she will see this and appreciate your courage.

P-C, as bonny said, your parents are damaging the relationship by placing unreasonable demands on you. Not the other way around. You have to live your life, not your sister and not your parents (and for that matter, not your aunt). Which means you have to be a person that you can live with. And, just to touch the perennial sore spot in your family relationship, it's a lot harder to be a person you can live with if you're married to (or in a relationship with) someone who isn't right for you.

I like Jars's idea about getting a pet, and using "I can't find a petsitter" as an excuse not to travel when you don't want to. (Never mind that it's surprisingly easy to find a good petsitter when you want to.)

And, sort-of echoing what someone said upthread, associating with your blood relatives is optional. Nobody can force you to if you decide not to. (But, as someone who made that decision, I urge you not to make a snap decision to cut ties. Even if you think it through carefully, there's emotional baggage from that decision.)

P-C, just say "thanks for your input, and I will consider it. However, please remember that this is between me and our parents, and I don't want my issues with them to affect our relationship"

I would like to say something like that. I was already really close to telling her to stop being the middleman and let me deal with them on my own unless I asked for her help. But now I'm afraid that responding in any way could go badly.

I think it might be wise to simply ask her to let this be between you and your parents.

Having done daycare for a psychiatric convention, it is ridiculously apparent that there is no magical medical parenting bullet there. Hoo boy.

Another work explores a romantic encounter between "Star Trek" characters Spock and James T. Kirk.

OK, that's kind of hilarious. What would you call that - slash art?

P-C, sorry to hear that they've got your sister taking sides. What everyone else said. That email was cruel, IMO.