Jayne ,'War Stories'
[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.
Now if only my fellow shoppers would learn how to fucking USE THEM, I'd be golden.
Given that it seems like waaaayyyy too many people haven't figured out how to use ATMs (including a friend who always loses his card because he's used to the machines that give you the card back right away and the other types confuse him), I hold out little hope of them mastering the self-checkout kiosk.
I was explicitly taught as a child (like, we had actual discussions about this in school) that, if you're buying something or conducting some other business that requires waiting on a line, and there are people on line behind you, then it's rude to take any more time than just the amount you need to get done whatever you need to do. Standing around chatting with the cashier while there are people behind me waiting to buy things just feels so wrong.
Self check-out:
"Lady, just scan the UPC. The UPC. The fucking...THE BARCODE! No, see, you're just showing the bread to the glass and there's not, like, a camera or a guy in there, it's...there's these lasers and they scan the barco--DON'T STICK YOUR FACE ON THE--! Oh, great. Great, now she's blind. I'm never fucking getting out of here. Where's the express lane?"
Hil: And that's why I loved New York. People say what they mean and get on with things. It's like a more fun, less passive-aggressive London.
The express lane? That's the one with four people lined up with full grocery carts.
"Lady, just scan the UPC. The UPC. The fucking...THE BARCODE! No, see, you're just showing the bread to the glass and there's not, like, a camera or a guy in there, it's...there's these lasers and they scan the barco--DON'T STICK YOUR FACE ON THE--! Oh, great. Great, now she's blind. I'm never fucking getting out of here. Where's the express lane?"
So much so.
And then there are places like IKEA which are all self-check now with, like, ONE register with a human. Normally that'd be fine with me but 1. people are often stupid. and 2. those stupid machines are so slow. I just want to beep things through, pay and get OUUUUUUUT! I swear the machine wants to just hang out and chat for a while instead. It's busy narrating what I did two minutes ago and I look insane because I am starting to get shirty with a machine.
It occurs to me that I might need an ice cream and a timeout today.
Ugh. I hate Ikea, in any country. I suspect even Sweden.
Standing around chatting with the cashier while there are people behind me waiting to buy things just feels so wrong.
I mean, there's a whole spectrum, right? Don't go on five minutes after the order's done if there are ten people behind you. That is rude, not Southern, IMHO.
I hate Ikea, in any country.
They sell me 100 tealights for less than $4. I can walk out with 1,000 tealights for less than $40. And have. So I kinda love them a lot.
They're handy, it's true, but The Girl and I have more than once considered calling off the civil partnership while there. Stressful place.