No - we were never really married. I printed that out on the printer. Harry was faking.

Happy Birthday, Dylan! Happy Birthday, java!

Congratulations, Connie!

I did not marry the first man to propose, and it broke my heart to refuse, but it would never have been right. I did not say yes the first, or the second, time the man I did marry asked. The first time was in the bathroom over alka seltzer, and was part of a comforting hug. The second was on the occasion of my having won him a bet, and I was pissed. The third time was serious. And so was I.

It's worked out. So far. And we have Al and Tipper beat.

I didn't marry the first person to ask, but I was the first person Jon even thought about asking. It was a complete surprise to me.

Congratulations Connie and DH, and Raq and DH!

My "girlfriend" in second grade asked me to marry her. In fact, she and her friends forced me into a "ceremony." I wasn't interested, but I didn't give anybody a bloody nose.

The first and only person to ask me was drunk both times, and I'm pretty sure it was to prove that she loved me more than I loved her. Actually, it was three times, and the third was just after I got back from Peace Corps and went like this (both of us were sober):

Her: So, you're not going to marry me, then.
Me: Nope.
Her: So, I can cross that off my list then.
Me: Yep.

I was her first relationship, and AFAIK, her only to date. Wonderful person. Just not right for me.

I've gotten two things done today that were on my to do list for three months. Each one took roughly 20 minutes. Is it possible to \\o/ and ::facepalm:: simultaneously?

eta maybe like this? \\o> Nah, that just looks like I'm doing The Sprinkler.

Congratulations in any event, smonster. It's fun to see you on fiyah!

Very impressive, smonster! I applaud you, even as I secretly wonder if you stole the last embers of my alleged fiyah through the phone this morning. (It's okay if you did. I wasn't gonna use it anyway.)

I know those things smonster. I've done a few of those over the last 3 days

Oh no, Zenkitty! I credit you with starting my day off right! Off to DBT now, and I even got my homework done for that. On the personal front, I scheduled bloodwork and dental for one cat and a mole removal for me, both also months overdue. For my next feat I will pay overdue bills! I hope.

Wow! That's more than I've accomplished in three days.

I have to share this from my conversation with G. last night, because I'm still boggling in horror.

She's in the process of repainting and laying new wood floors throughout her house. As she was clearing out the hall closet so she could work in there, she discovered, at the very back of the top shelf, a grenade. Yes, an actual live grenade. Her ex-husband, who "loved his ordinance", and who promised to Jesus he'd get rid of it all, must have left it there when he divorced her. She had two kids in the house at the time. The oldest is grown and moved out, but the youngest has ADHD something awful and I fear if she had ever found that thing, she would not have been able to stop herself from the pulling the pin, even if she knew what it was.

He left a live goddamn grenade in his ex-wife's house, with his own child.

She's afraid to call the police, because she's certain they'll arrest her for possessing it, even though she OBVIOUSLY didn't know it was there. She says she's disabled it and will call him to come get it. I want to kill him.

This man is not the same as the man who's currently causing her grief. I want her to move away from that town and come live here where I can keep an eye on her and stop her from falling in love with terrible men.