sj, depression exacerbation and work drama feeding into each other - the lousier things are at work, the more depressed I am, and the more depressed I am, the less competent I am and the lousier things are at work (with the delightful gift with purchase of increasing depression making me even more stuck and less able to do the necessary new-job-hunting). And it all makes me feel especially wrathful toward people in positions of power who are professionally shitty to their underlings, hence the desire to cockpunch Hil's advisor.
When I finally regain my equilibrium and will to live and general pleasure in existence, I'm going to owe everyone a huge debt of gratitude and apology and I don't even know what. I know it's been a rough, grinding past few months for all the Buffistas, with everything from job woes to shitty advisors to physical ills and family members in the hospital and having a beloved pet trapped in the red zone of a goddamn national revolution, and I'm having a terrible time crawling out of this hole and giving the attention and love and comfort everyone deserves. I read and read and read, and feel for everyone, and then just sink into this frozen "can't say anything, can't write anything, can't do anything" state. It'll get better, eventually; it's just utter crap right now.
eta: {{{{{Sean}}}}} Even as crappy as I feel, I'd take on all of your own crap feeling for you if I could. You're such a ridiculously good person; whatever you're feeling and whatever is going on, I can utterly guarantee you deserve a million, million times better.