Please forgive the shameless serial posts, but in me news...

Today was the memorial service for my surrogate dad.

I practiced my eulogy dozens of times and was totally confident that I would do as Niki asked and be the one who would not cry.

I came right, bang in the middle of the program and as soon as I hit the lectern, I choked. Or choked up, I should say. I got through it...and everyone said lovely things (but, then again, what are they going to say? (Shame about how much you loved him and your crappy delivery!) But it was tougher than I ever imagined.

I did tell some funny stories and was so honored to be able to offer a side of him that his kids and step children didn't see. EVERY single person before me talked about his profound love of nature and I was able to open with, "I never went camping with him!"

In any case, it was a loving, moving and entertaining program all together. At 97, most of his friends had preceded him, but there were still scores of people who came to pay their respects. It was a blessing to me to be included as family.

I've been so caught up in caring for Niki that I guess I didn't really grieve properly for Gordon. In truth, I was relieved for him. Today, I came to grips with how much I will miss him. That's a good thing though.

and some of it is I don't *like* managing people.

This is a key awareness. So many people go up the ladder to management because it is expected...then they suck at it...and it ruins what might be a great work life.

Oh, bonny, that is wonderful to read, as sad as it must have been. I've found that I can't fight my tears, and trying only makes it worse, so I feel you on that struggle. What a terrific man he must have been and how lucky you both were to have each other.

Go to sleep, smonster!!

But yeah, also apply for that job. And if you can get an intro to people in the org, all the better to let them know that if they don't want you for that, you totally want to work there for something else.

Yes, the silver lining of the work-related misery of the last ten years is that I have learned an awful lot about myself. I try to stay open to growth possibilities, but keep learning certain lessons again and again.

With that, I'm off to bed, over an hour later than planned but oh well. Night, y'all, and thanks for the pep talk and advice.

Question for the hivemind pet people. How often do you wash your cat/dog bowls?

Because their main source of water intake is actually canned food with water added, I worry less about the cats' water dish than I might otherwise. I aim to rinse it out and put in fresh water at least once every other day. If it goes a third day, I don't feel too bad. If it somehow gets lots of cruddy crumbs in it and looks gross, I do feel bad. Proper wash at least once a week. Vinegar rinse to get lime deposits out, whenever.

I'm glad you are getting a chance to grieve Gordon, bonny. It's never easy, no matter what we distract ourselves with.

and some of it is I don't *like* managing people.

I don't like doing it, but have found myself to be better at it than I expected, at least on the small scale. I have a couple of stock phrases for certain circumstances that could be unpleasantly confrontational with the wrong turn of phrase. Some of them might be useful in handling that intern. Let me know if you think they would help.

Proper wash at least once a week. Vinegar rinse to get lime deposits out, whenever.

Check.

Also, Andi, what type bowls do you use? (plastic, metal, ceramic, etc.)

How often do you wash your cat/dog bowls?

Honestly? Hardly ever, only when they look like they need it or ants get into them or something. Certainly not as often as once a month, but maybe a few times a year. They have two filtered fountains that are their main water sources, though. Not that I wash them very often, either, but, filters, so that's something?

Eta: dog gets dry food out of a foldable camping dish made of, I think, nylon? Water dish is plastic. Cats eat dry food with a teaspoon of wet on top out of one stainless steel dish and one ceramic. Fountains are plastic.

Metal bowls and I am horribly slack about washing. Oops.

bonny (and anyone else not on fb), can you see these pics? if not will email. [link]

What's a good cost of living comparison site?

Okay, I swear I'm going.

Water bowl when it looks like it needs it, that varies with the time of year. Food bowls, hardly ever, but they have dry food in stainless steel bowls so they never get messy.