You don't have to love it, Erin, but I think you can take responsibility for it. Fix it. Get some help and train it ( i have many friends that have been able to help dogs that were anxious) I know you don't want to , but your husband wants the dog as a connection to his son however tenuous. but you can make your life more pleasant. And ex doesn't want it -- not if she is telling you to change the tags

fixing and training would make it easier to find a home

The dog needs to be fixed and he needs training and someone who cares.

If you guys are taking care of the dog, you guys can decide to get the dog fixed. Do it ASAP. It's probably easy to project some of the issues with the ex onto the dog. But he really just needs a bit of training and some love. If you think of the dog as yours instead of the ex's, the emotional investment might come.

I grew up with dogs; I give him training and toys and baths and walks and scratches, and is much better behaved now. Don't get me wrong; he's got a good life. He's a cute dog, but neither of us want a dog. Cats are our speed.

I would be ALL OVER an open doggy adoption; I may have to look into that. And you guys are right; I need to have Dan tell her that le doggy needs to get fixed ASAP. She's not going to take him, therefore she's not going to breed him. He has no need for balls, and he would probably be a calmer pup sans testes. She keeps putting it off and off, so...sorry chica, you had your chance!

Just sayin' he's a happy doggy and not mistreated in any way; I just wish -- for his sake, and yes, mine -- that he could belong to a home that actively wants him. I'm kind, but not invested.

An open doggy adoption is probably do-able since you could really take your time and find the right family.

Dude, Erin, I'm a dog person and even I would be drawing some serious lines in the sand at the emotional blackmail. Poor pup being used that way by her is just wrong and so not what a real dog person would do.

I'm totally in your corner, wanting to do right by the doggy yet not wanting him as your responsibility because it's not what you chose.

And I'm with beth-- if she's telling you to change the tags, that it's ridiculous that they haven't been changed yet, then she's abdicating responsibility, because when they ask you for the owner's names, it'll have to be you guys. They'll never register the dog to an absentia owner. At least, I can't imagine they would.

Ugh, sounds stressful.

sj, based on your asking what nail polish I wore to the last F2F, I am wearing Nfu Oh 125 again. It's one of my Top 5 colors ever. Thanks for making me obsess over it for the last couple of days because now my nails are re-prettified.

And What Barb Said.

It's clearly not her dog any longer. No matter what this says about the ex, he's your dog and you should get him fixed and stop letting her use the dog to wrench Dan around by the balls. I dislike the ex a lot about this.

So, worst comes to worst you can be all hardcore and have play time = crate time and show no love otherwise. It's painful to do, but its only for a few days. And having her crate trained IS SO WORTH IT.

Hmmm. t looks thoughtfully in Ryan's direction