it's just a joke he often makes -- is that the ideal martini is ice-cold gin poured in a martini glass with a bottle of vermouth waved in the general direction of the glass. "Hello, Mr. Gin." "Hello, Mr. Vermouth."

Yeah, he needs to let go of that one. In mixology circles this is basically the problem: drinking as a macho exercise. Vermouth is not the enemy. In fact, on the chalkboard outside of Alembic they'll announce this: We like the taste of vermouth in our martinis. If you want cold gin, that's fine but it's not a martini.

Ditto with misting the glass with vermouth.

It's all about the right ingredients in the proper proportions. Just like in a recipe.

Or as Lorne said on Angel, "I can hold a note forever, but it's not about the note but the space in between the notes."

It's not a fetish of The One Thing; it's about the Balance Between Things.

I can tolerate a really dirty martini, though ideally it would be a dirty vodka martini.

I'll note also that a dirty martini is a waste to a good bartender. You're taking the carefully crafted botanicals of the gin and pouring the equivalent of ketchup all over it. And a dirty vodka martini is barely even a drink. You might as well alternate shots of vodka and swigs from your olive jar.

Which is to say: just drink a beer you'd enjoy instead.

Not to be snooty but, why waste your time on something you don't really enjoy when you could have something you do like? Why have something you can merely tolerate?

Be a sophisticated beer drinker instead of a reluctant cocktail drinker.

If you want cold gin, that's fine but it's not a martini.

Words to live by.

Also, living in a barn doesn't make you a cow and putting a drink in a martini glass doesn't make it a martini.

I had a dirty martini today. I like the way they taste. I did feel a little weird ordering a cocktail made with Maker's Mark at the top of the Palm Springs Tramway but I had to; it was called a Tramcar.

If you want cold gin, that's fine but it's not a martini.

According to Wikipedia, the very name may have come from Martini vermouth. So the vermouth would be the defining element...

...much like olives for muffulettas.

Herbaceous is what I avoid like the Black Death in, for instance, white wine. Like grassy Sauvignon Blancs. My palate is not a fan of the herbaceous ouevre.

See, I LOVE grassy sauvignon blancs, and dislike the fruity ones...but I hate juniper. So gin is not my friend. :)

But I like vodka with olive juice in it. I see it as no different than any other mixed drink. Barely even a drink my ass.

But I like vodka with olive juice in it. I see it as no different than any other mixed drink. Barely even a drink my ass.

I stand with you, my vodka-and-olive-juice-drinking friend!

You're taking the carefully crafted botanicals of the gin and pouring the equivalent of ketchup all over it.

Mmmm. Ketchup.

So gin is not my friend.

Some gins are not as heavy on the juniper.

Barely even a drink my ass.

Well, you can drink it but it's a pretty blunt instrument.

I mean, you can drink the juice from the maraschino cherry jar but I wouldn't recommend it.

I like megan walker's Pink Punch.

I used to make a drink called a Pink Dammit with maraschino cherry juice.