Okay, the US Postal Service is On My List.
I ordered something from drugstore.com last week. Still not delivered, so I checked online. Tracking information claims that they attempted to deliver it Monday, didn't want to leave it (even though they leave EVERYTHING), and left a notice.
I didn't get any such notice, so I have no idea at what branch my package is. (And without the alleged "notice" slip, even if I did know what branch was holding it hostage, I doubt they'd let me claim it.) The USPS Web site is spectacularly unhelpful, as is the phone number for issues with track and confirm. The phone number doesn't let you get to a real human at all. When I enter the tracking number, the computer voice tells me that no tracking information is available for my package.
Die, US Postal Service, die. Painfully.
I guess I punt it to drugstore.com and ask them if they can have the goddamn incompetent brainstems at the USPS re-deliver it.
Die die die. I stab at you from my desk.