Thanks for the encouragement guys. At this point, I'm just very Kermit arms flaily about the whole thing. I feel as if I'm in a rut, simply because publishing is in such a complete shithole at the moment. What's selling, regardless of quality, tends to be dark, post-apoc or literary mash-ups, neither of which I have any interest in writing.

The simple fact of the matter is, no matter how good I am or think I am, in terms of craft, I'm simply not good enough nor do I stand out quite enough to make publishers take that chance on me-- to be worth that risk.

It's a massive blow to the ego, but it is what it is.

It's no secret that with each story and manuscript, I challenge myself. I always try something a little different. So there is that-- however, it is a relatively solitary challenge and I'm starting to wonder if I need to venture out of my safe little hidey hole and let others challenge me. I won't lie-- it scares the shit out of me. The idea that my style will be altered and shaped in a way in directed by someone else. I also tend to shy away from critique groups because I don't subscribe to the many chefs stirring the soup style. I guess I'm afraid of losing myself and what defines me as a writer. (I know, ego much? I really do need to get the fuck over myself.)

Again, though, my career is stagnating at the moment and I need to figure out what to do in order to push it off the plateau and up to the next level because clearly, what I'm doing right now, ain't working all that well.

Lewis suggested that perhaps I might also explore some retreats-- something geared at writers who might have the kind of experience I have, rather than the typical conference which is geared at the unpublished author. That way, I can decide if a more extensive program would be the thing for me.

I just want to keep improving craft and you know, keep working.

Would this be a mutton dressed as lamb situation?

I don't think it's necessarily mutton as lamb, but I think something more tailored would be more flattering. I also have a personal aversion to pink ruffles, keep in mind. It's the ruffle around the bottom that kills it for me.

I think this one would look better, even. [link]

Thanks, smonster. I love the colors in that one, but I'm more comfortable with a bit more sleeve.

ETA: I'm definitely getting this one, and wearing it over a white t-shirt. [link]

Calli, I don't think it would be mutton-dressed-as-lamb. But then, I'm wearing black lipstick AND shoes with giant bows on them, so I may not be the best judge. But I think it looks like a pretty, spring-y dress.

However, a less unhygienic gesture than my previous offering would be to return the fancy box with a note suggesting he sell it and use the proceeds to buy some lessons in manners. Don't think Jilli would approve of this one, though.

Bwah-ha-ha! Jilli would think of it longingly, and then return to trying to stay on the moral high ground. But yes, smonster. DISENGAGE.

Yay Kristin! I think that's a hopeful sign.

I also got spam from Teppy. I feel included!

I was feeling left out of the Teppy spam, but just checked my secondary email account and had email from her. Now I feel all included and shit.

Which is important, because my workplace is undergoing some transitions that aren't easy for me to take.

And for anyone who cares, I used to use a first name underscore last name @yahoo email address, but a couple of years ago started using that as my "spam" account. I check it occasionally. My "real" account is first name DOT last name@yahoo now.

Hey, I got Teppy spam too, in my spam filter! I feel all validated. And if that had popped up in my inbox I'd have opened it quite quickly, because, hey, Teppy!

Lewis suggested that perhaps I might also explore some retreats-- something geared at writers who might have the kind of experience I have, rather than the typical conference which is geared at the unpublished author. That way, I can decide if a more extensive program would be the thing for me.

Barb, have you considered Breadloaf? Everyone I know who has participated says it's a game-changer.

Want me to spam him?

This made me laugh and laugh!

Sounds promising, Kristin!

Wanted to make sure Jilli saw baby in his monster and bats outfit: [link]

javachik- i sent you email re: Emeline's tball team, did you get it?

The simple fact of the matter is, no matter how good I am or think I am, in terms of craft, I'm simply not good enough nor do I stand out quite enough to make publishers take that chance on me-- to be worth that risk.

But isn't a big part of the equation luck? The manuscript just happens to be the right thing at the right time when someone's looking at it. I don't think you should be too hard on yourself. It seems like right now the tide of the market is going the wrong way.