Well I did cry. Which wasn't the most professional thing to do but at least I got through it.
Every time I am in a confrontational situation or one where I am getting a dressing down, I cry. I HATE IT. There is not a damn thing I can do about it, trying not to makes it worse. It's just how my body/brain process confrontations for reasons that I get, but still can't overwrite the hardwiring.
Hoo boy, that was a long post when really all I wanted to say was, "don't beat yourself for crying- it happens to the best of us and you've been going through so much stress lately."
askye, you did GREAT. And thankfully it sounds like your boss is reasonable. Don't you feel better now for bringing it out in the open? It's amazing how much we can scare ourselves at the possibility of things which so often turn out to be manageable.
I feel better and my boss did tell me to go home and relax and enjoy the weekend.
...and I'm all jealous that there's going to be some sort effort from management to explain what they want you to do, so you can do your job effectively. Yay! Something linear to work on, something concrete to refer to. Would that I had had that myself way back when I worked.
Nope, I'm not bitter about being fired. edit: It was my own dern fault because of my horrible personality more than my ppw wrangling.
My poor old cat Squeak is at the vet having his teeth cleaned, and it turned into surgery to remove a broken tooth. I just won't feel settled until I have him back. Plus Sophie, his beautiful young calico lady friend, has not shown herself since I took him away.
I'll be 37 years old and I'm still emotionally scared for what a person in power told me nearly over 25 years ago.
That's okay, and you know why? Because when you talked to your boss -- i.e., asked for help -- your ACTION was in direct contradiction to your emotions. Basically, your action told your old emotions that if they want to hang out, they can, but they're going to get really bored, because you're going to go do something else, something that you DESERVE.
Will you feel shitty again, like you have no right to ask for help? Sure. But you can do the same thing you did this time -- go ahead and feel that way if those are the feelings that come up, but then ACT on what you know is true, which is that you deserve to ask for help.
In other words, what you did today goes a long way towards helping you deal with those old emotional responses.
I too cry from confrontations and it's comforting to know I'm not alone.
I used to work at a restaurant where the owner was a big scary guy named Hossein. One day the kitchen messed up and some appetizers took forever and then a foodrunner brought the entree to the table before they were ready for it and when I came to the table they started chewing me out relentlessly. Hossein met me when I was in tears on my way back to the kitchen and he asked if I wanted someone else to take over the table. I said yes and twenty minutes later their new waitress, Nancy was also crying. Hossein said he would finish the service and as he was walking out Nancy started laughing through her tears. "What's so funny?" I asked. Nancy said, "I was just thinking that if they can make Hossein cry, they're really good."
I have managed to make dinner. I think maybe I'll go back to sleep now.
Steph is wise, I just wish I realized this sooner.
So now I know...and knowing is half the battle!
SLNRLBF keeps reminding me of all the ways I'm doing great and that everyone really likes me at work and I'm good at what I do.
Anyway I'm planning to have a nice weekend. Mostly of cleaning up the house, I've let things get away from me while I was stressed.
