"I didn't come here for humiliation. I came here for an argument."

"Down the hall."

I want my menopause, dammit.

When the gods wish to punish us, they answer our prayers.

If this discussion had really been like the Microsoft discussions, every time someone said, "Does anyone have any ideas for what do about this rash?" someone else would say, "That's what you get for going to doctors."

I think it would be more helpful if the people who do have great doctors or who are relatives of doctors would say to the people who are in such pain because of their experiences with doctors that they may be endangering their health, "There really are good doctors out there. I'll ask my excellent doctor if she has any suggestions about how to find one who could help you."

Andi, I too wonder what it's like to be beautiful. I hate what I have become and despair of ever being attractive or losing enough weight to possibly help my lymphedema and make breast reconstruction a safer bet. I exercise and lift weights. (The magic machine that tracks my weights says I'm now lifting a total of 11,000 pounds each session. Go team me.) I do fairly major gardening. I try to eat right. I have tried every major diet. I can tell you the nutrition count of most things in the grocery store. A fat lot of good it's done me.

WS, you are such a kind and empathetic person that your comments over the years have helped me immensely. I wish I knew some answers for you.

Teppy, I sincerely hope you get embarrassed at the ER and it's nothing. Not that I think you *should* be embarrassed about taking your heart health seriously, but I want it to be nothing.

Andi, your post made me want to cry and smack you all at the same time. I think you're absolutely lovely in every sense of the word and I really wish you did, too.

Vortex, my doc and I have talked about the possibility of fibroids, but (and this is one place where it matters) she can't get a good read with palpations due to my weight. And, it hasn't been bad enough to warrant an ultrasound. Until now. Seriously going to ask for one next time.

But, if it is fibroids, what can they do about it other than surgery?

Aren't there a couple different kind of fibroids surgeries these days? Does going on the pill and skipping your period help at all? (obviously the pill is not for everyone and I'm just asking cause I'm curious, not cause I know that's an actual treatment!)

Hey, you could luck out and have polyps instead of fibroids. Many of the same symptoms, much simpler procedure to treat.

Does going on the pill and skipping your period help at all?

Don't know. I'm not a good candidate for the pill due to family stroke history, so I haven't been on it in 15 years. And, with the NGA status these days, doesn't really matter.

I do skip on occassion and all that usually does is make the next month do double duty.

I used to be regular as can be, but since my thyroid surgeries, it's gone wonky and never got back to normal.

Yep. Dude! I didn't know he was Jack Skellington! Huh.

I think Danny Elfman did the singing, though.

If this discussion had really been like the Microsoft discussions, every time someone said, "Does anyone have any ideas for what do about this rash?" someone else would say, "That's what you get for going to doctors."

If this discussion were like the Microsoft discussions, it would be about a software product and not a group of human beings.

In re Cheney - can we call him Heartless Dick? soooo descriptive!

I have skipped and skimmed and skipped and skimmed and shut my damn mouth on both sides and skimmed some more, and am now posting to say:

TEPALINA! I am vibing hard that when your "it's nothing serious" embarrassment is delivered, you will tip in cash.

Steph, I hope the ER finds the chest pains have a benign cause, ideally one that's unlikely to repeat.

I'm lucky with my current doctor. I'm overweight—probably by around 80-90 pounds. My doctor, Dr. N., would like me to change that, as she's concerned about my joints. But she doesn't try to shame me, and when I come in with a specific problem she doesn't try to blow it off as something that would get better if I'd just put down the fork.

Dr. N. continues to be my current doctor, even after I moved to another town, because of this attitude. I've had other doctors whose attitude, comments, and refusal of care—explicitly due to my weight—endangered my health. I was in my 30s before I found Dr. N., and I will not go to another primary care doctor until I move out of state or until she retires.

Doctors are humans whose perspectives are influenced by the surrounding culture, and US culture is pretty hateful toward the overweight. I think they're as likely to be jerks or to be kindly as any stranger in the street, but they're in a powerful position as the gatekeepers for most medical care. So any jerkiness or kindness they manifest is going to be a lot more powerful than said stranger's. When channeled through health care providers, anti-fat asshattitude can stand between us fat people and getting necessary health care. It can be a determining factor in whether or not we get the resources to make pain stop. Some of our most vulnerable times are around health care practitioners—we're sick, or short of breath, or in pain, and frequently unclothed.

So yes, it's important to remember that health care providers are human, with families that love them and the variable strengths and weaknesses that comes with being part of our species, in this time and place. It's also important to find doctors who remember that we're also human, even those of us who are fat, with our own health concerns, pain, and frailties that may or may not have anything to do with our size.