whew. Big show is done. Sound system is all boxed up. Tomorrow the truck comes to take it all away as we load in the next show in the small space. Oy. Body is tired, brain still not quite there yet.

Smonster, hope you got to sleep, and are ok.

Today I didn't wear black, as I normally do. Instead, khaki (as close to white as I could when working in dusty/dirty conditions.) Trying to be optimistic.

smonster, your date line-up sounds fun! Enjoy.

We are off to Norfolk (which is not, as I just discovered, the Cotswolds. I thought it was. I am spatially challenged). No internet or TV for four days (but there is a log fire). I will be reading a lot of books (and writing an essay, a PhD application and an article). The Girl says it's going to rain for four days straight, but is also excited that it's mussels season on the Norfolk coast. Have a good week, all!

I am still cranky. i slept great, and i am uber cranky gal. i am also utterly useless at work. i keep messing up, things like setting up calls for locations that don't exist. basic geography stuff we learned in academy. everyone at dispatch has been hating me all night because they have to think about my locations, and i can't blame them after three errors in one evening. i also have been sucking at dispatch, transposing and mistyping numbers which can lead to serious very bad things like people getting shot. i was fine two weeks ago, now i suck like i can't believe. i have lost all my confidence and just want to go home and curl up with the kitties and cry. i really am worried i'm not going to make it through this phase of training which would be very bad. i have no idea how to get my confidence back and no one at work can help me because they just want me to stop sucking and i understand their frustration which only compounds my suckiness and misery.

can i please just start this month over?

Oh, erin_o. Much punctuation to you.

Sleepy~vibes for all who are still awake when they need sleep.

I just ate a quarter bar of what should have been good chocolate and seriously dissapointed. Oh tropical source, how could you call that "dark" chocolate? Cadbury dairy milk has more cocoa solids! It was overly sweet and waxy and just not dark chocolate. i think it might have been mislabeled. i would take it back if i hadn't gotten it at a discount place. no wonder it was so cheap. *sigh*

eta: would the world mind i just ate a spoonful of frosting now?

The world is generous with its frosting towards those whom chocolate has betrayed.

What he said.

Sorry you are needing a reboot, Erin. I hope you find some good chocolate or whatever you need to restart your confidence in the capable person you know you are.

Is there anything you can do like deep breathing that will help you relax, Erin? You know you can do this. You're just temporarily caught in a vicious circle.

The world is generous with its frosting towards those whom chocolate has betrayed.

This is a thing of beauty.

Mr Peabody pushed open the bathroom door and stole a slipper while I was in the shower.

Oh, erin, that sounds miserable, all of it. I've been in the spiral of suck at work and it is incredibly demoralizing. Wishing you the time and headspace you need to pull it all back together (and screw the discount chocolates; at this point you both need and deeply deserve a Moonstruck splurge).

Matilda's Papou got her this singing, wing-flapping monstrosity for Valentine's Day, and she's been amusing herself setting it off, smushing it against the "Santa Claus Is Comin' To Town" teddy bear her Aunt Judy got her in December, and saying proudly, "Look! They're kissing!" It's both vile and oddly adorable.

Wow, is the Yahoo! email spam filter wacky in a not-so-good way. I just found something I had sent myself in it.