well, Fuck. this is an awful way to de-lurk.

Just finding out about Connie Neil pulled me back. I can barely keep up with myself these days let alone keep track of my friends.

Work is getting increasingly weird with learning new work, having the computers switched out, and the phones too, to be more in sync with our new Indian Overlords. and they do this shit without warning. I came in one day to find my desk had been moved. at least my computer had been moved. I had to grab the rest of my stuff and dump it in the new cube in time to log into work. then there has been the tortuous "migrating" to the new company's computers. they gave a a day but not a time. They just showed up at your desk, set the new computer and screens up and then left us to learn from each other how to log in and what quirks the stuff has. fun. NOT!

I am now posting from a $60 macbook that David Jensen helped me find. so, happy to have a keyboard to type on instead of a tablet.

I'm still ignoring the passage of time, except when I can't. I miss the watch and posts so much! and damnit, noone else is allowed to die until I do. permission denied!

I love you all.

My job as House Coordinator at a group home has been very challenging. We have been desperately short-handed. Since it is in my job description to fill in open shifts, from the end of July through the end of October, I had precisely 4 days off. Exhausted doesn't cover it. Good thing I love this work.

P.S. we have a new cat.

I guess I'm technically over the deadline, but eh.

So, to follow up on home-buying in 2017 and getting married in 2018, I had a baby this June. He's almost 5 months now, and is locomoting like an incompetent rabbit, getting up on all fours, then flinging himself forward and landing on his chest (and improvement from his prior face-planting). He is deeply fascinated by the glowy light box and the cats, so he's pretty clearly From the Internet. He's also quite the social charmer, and makes friends wherever he goes.

We've almost finished the garden-level in-law suite, since there's only one hotel in town, and only have 1 room left to repaint/renovate, so I hope to be able to say that that's done by next year.

I think my new years non-resolution will be to reengage. On my old phone the type was so small and the zoom function so terrible that I didn't really keep up after my tablet died. New phone is a lot easier to manage so now I just have to get back in the habit. I see a lot of you in Other Places but I miss the real conversation here and I miss the full community.

So, uh, ah'll be bahk.

Yay, Brenda back!

I think the iPad has helped me rengage. Well, and the fact my life fell apart and I needed you guys. I was always reading, it just seemed like a lot of effort to post.

So, as you all probably know, I recently had a big crisis where my apartment was declared "uninhabitable". I finally confessed to you guys, and you helped with both encouragement and a to me enormous generosity with some donations, to pay people to come in, and clean the biggest part of it for me. I am now in a clean, but somewhat cluttered (still a porch full of books to take care of) and my therapist, that I saw because this was such a crisis, says I am probably not going need/want to be better than that (I tend to go overboard trying to be perfect)

It also really made me admit that I had to do something about my desperate unhappiness and anxiety and inability to cope with a) not really liking my new promotion at work but being unsure if it is because I can't cope with my new boss's style (He is a big idea person like me, but not a realist like me), I can't cope with the fact that I was still doing or training most of my old job for close to 1 1/2 years, or I actually don't like the work. B) The stress of my Father's family reaching out to me and my ambivalence about seeing them as well as my terror at talking to my mother about it. C) I was unhappy at the theatre because it wasn't even a creative outlet anymore, all I do is buy things on Amazon and ship them back! D) My uncle died. E) My cat died F) I was diagnosed with diabetes and "cured" myself by reinventing Keto on my own by eating to my meter and lost close to 100 pound (but lost all my favorite foods). And everyone I ran into just talked about how happy I must be to be thin and have a promotion, and a new family! So I tried to be, and how I felt got reflected in my house, because all I did when not at work was read romance novels (my big accomplishment- I did read over 200 books so far this year)

So hopefully onwards and upwards from here

Good things: Work has finally started to do something about my job situation I like my new therapist, although I only get her for 6 visits, and then we decide if I need to move on to someone not supplied for free by work The Employee Assistance Program was really good, and I am glad I have that I did get The Cutest Kitten in the World, Petunia Paloma Pancake! You guys My BFFs Maria and Katie The cleaning people, who were so nice and kind even though I was terrified

Today, because I finally have a key to my apartment (I had just been leaving it open for 2 years) and the landlord inspection went well, and I have been given the blessing at work to just DO my old job while they are looking for TWO PEOPLE to fill it (and I still have 1/3 of it, expanded of it) I feel like myself again!

Also, I took a leave from the theatre for the rest of this semester!

Sophia, every bit of this update makes me so so so very happy!

Sophia, every bit of this update makes me so so so very happy!

Me too! I'm glad they're making changes at work for you. That's overdue.

I hope you can continue therapy and find a good balance of creative work and less-stress work.

Making a happy home for you and Petunia.

Oh Sophia I'm so glad.

Me too! I'm glad they're making changes at work for you. That's overdue.

Thanks.

The promotion was a thing that started because my good old boss wanted to get me more money and help for basically running our program both educationally and administratively. It turned into a clusterfuck because HR was like- those things can't go together. One is low level and one is high level, so I ended up with just the education/IT stuff. But my actual expertise is in customer service/recruitment. But the title was Assistant to the Director, and the candidates we have gotten do not seem to be able to make good independent decisions without supervision, which my boss needs because she, too, has too much job. I still wish I could have just got more money and an assistant! I started with the education and IT stuff because I can't talk people into taking a course that is going to be shitty. But I do like the education and IT stuff, I just need to be assured that someone is taking care of the customers and telling them correct information and actually doing things in a timely fashion.