But then I made sure to ask my seatmates whether or not they were allergic at all.

I think most nut-allergic people will still notify the airline and request a nut-free flight, so you were probably okay. My brother notifies the airline and then takes a Benedryl anyway just in case. (If it's just peanut dust in the recycled air, he'll get a bad case of hives, but he won't stop breathing. And he always has his epipen with him.)

We're having some autism related drama in my extended family right now, though from a slightly unusual perspective. My sister-in-law's* mother came over to the US last fall as a nanny for a Russian family living in Philadelphia. Only to find that both kids are severely, as in barely functional, autistic.

It's a really nightmarish situation, and nobody sees much of a way out - if she walks away she has no way to get back home, and her visa status gets hinky, which could potentially jeopardize future visas. And she doesn't have anywhere to live or another job lined up back in Moscow. Hell, she can't legally live in Moscow, though that's not a new thing. And finding a position on the fly there or in their small town when she's just walked away from a post? Ugh. It's really fucked up.

*My sister-in-law's* [They're not actually married, but might as well be. Except I guess for INS purposes.[

a nut-free flight

I was trying to come up with a joke about never having been on one of these, regardless of the food served. Just couldn't find it though!

That's terrible, Brenda. Who wouldn't prepare someone to take care of their kids if they have needs like that? Ridic.

There's a reason why people go overseas for nannies with very few options, and it's not just the language.

ETA: obviously, not everyone who has or prefers a foreign nanny falls into this. But these people clearly wanted someone they could dump full responsibility for their kids on who wouldn't be able walk away. She speaks no english. She has no resources. And she (and by extension my SIL) are terrified of rocking the boat for fear of fucking up their ability to come back to this country. It's just sickening.

I think most nut-allergic people will still notify the airline and request a nut-free flight, so you were probably okay. My brother notifies the airline and then takes a Benedryl anyway just in case. (If it's just peanut dust in the recycled air, he'll get a bad case of hives, but he won't stop breathing. And he always has his epipen with him.)

I confess that I have brought my own peanuts onto airplanes from outside. Would other passengers be notified if it was supposed to be a nut-free flight?

How awful for the nanny and just as terrible for the children who need someone who understands their situation. God. That's terrible.

Would other passengers be notified if it was supposed to be a nut-free flight?

I don't know - probably not. Unless *everyone* on the plane had brought peanut butter sandwiches, it would only be a problem if you were sitting right next to the allergic person.

Brenda, what I have to wonder is - even if they don't give a shit about their nanny, how can they not realize how this situation is hurting their special-needs kids??? What piss-poor excuses for parents.

What piss-poor excuses for parents.

My point, made more eloquently.

even if they don't give a shit about their nanny, how can they not realize how this situation is hurting their special-needs kids???

I have some thoughts on that, but should probably restrain myself. I'll try to keep it clean:

But I will say that my understanding is that, generally speaking, the Russian perspective on disability does not tend towards the enlightened. My brother was very involved in the Special Olympics when he was over there and it was ...challenging.

Similarly, he was involved in establishing a corporate internship program for orphans, which was an *enormous* undertaking. Being an orphan carries such a social stigma that they're virtually unemployable. Seriously. You can imagine where severely disabled kids might fall in such a hierarchy. So my total speculation is that the guiding principle here is warehousing; they were looking for someone to make the kids Not Their Problem, full stop.