oh yeah, I am not going to be paying someone to be at the afterschool as his attendant. Hells no, just on principle, even if I did have that kind of money, which I do not.

He will be at a different afterschool program once school starts, that shouldn't be a problem. The next couple of weeks? That is what I have no idea about. Oh and then there's the whole thing about whether or not he will behave wherever we do get him in. I have started trying to explain that tonight.

How about running away to here: [link]

I know, not helpful. I expect your talk tonight will end up needing several variations and repeats. Wishing you much luck & him much understanding.

Jesus, msbelle. I'm so sorry things are so tough for you guys right now.

yes please on that house. YES PLEASE.

talked to the parents. they were like "let us know if we need to come up" and I had to remind them that I can't really have people in the house right now. I need another treatment yet.

I think my crisis management is easing back and my anger is starting to rise. it needs to be bedtime soon.

Ok, so a little fantasy helped? Good.

When you do have a chance to talk to a shrink/therapist/whatever, ask about services through school that may be available to you. You probably already know this, but just in case...

That rental on the list, which I am now keeping one, damnit. 3 weeks out and I'm still in a goddamned freakish good mood most of the time, which tells me I need to travel way outside the familiar more often. Or just that the craziness of 2009 has been a Good thing. Which is true too.

Seriously, people, I am not white.

I remember last year, I went for a facial at a spa and the entire time, the esthetician was being all Chatty Kathy, telling me how she was originally from Jacksonville and how it was just SUCH a relief to be back after several years in Miami-- it had been good money but it was just so hard to get good help because they all spoke Spanish, dontcha know and while it was okay while her son was still a baby, she didn't want him growing up thinking Spanish was his first language or anything.

Finally, she ran out of steam and said, "So, where are you from?"

"Miami."

"Oh, so you know exactly what I'm talking about."

"No, not really. I'm bilingual."

"Oh, it didn't worry your parents?"

That's when I stood up, wiped my face off and said, "No, not really. I'm one of them."

"But... you don't look a thing—"

"Just stop. You've already proved you're an idiot. You really don't need to do any more to further your cause."

I spoke to the manager on the way out and said she really needed to be more selective with her hiring. To her credit, she didn't charge me for the service.

Oh, msbelle, I'm so sorry! You do not need this!

You're honorary white. It's almost as good.

I particularly love the bit where I call them on it and they're all, "Oh, but I didn't mean people like you!" or "Well, I don't think of you like that." Right. I'm one of the good docile minorities. Friendly. Helpful.

Then they're all, "Oh, I guess I just forget with you." Because you know me, asshole! Just like you'd get over your other stereotypes if you actually got to know people in those people groups. I'm rolling my eyes at you so hard my whole head is bobbing.

No one have ever started a sentence to me with anything like "I don't mean to be racist, but..."

I'm not sure why someone would try that around Vortex. Seems very self-destructive.

Seems like suicide-by-awesome-but-tough-chick to me.

Dinner tonight is stir-fried sausage, bok choy, carrots, mushroom, and zucchini, with hoisin sauce, sirracha, and rice wine. I feel virtuous, and somewhat international.