He seems to have abandoned The Rock altogether. I'll be casting The Rock in The Tooth Fairy would have been problematic at best.

Yeah, I think "The Rock" is property of the WWE. I should stick with Dwayne, even if that's not how he's primarily googled.

They're out here and they're being marketed as now being available all year round.

Yes, but you live in the magical land of Canadia!

“Operation Chihuahua” to Fly From SFO to JFK

We have Chihuahuas. They need Chihuahuas. And so on Wednesday morning Virgin America will be conducting an airborne exodus of little dogs from San Francisco to New York City. According to an SFO airport press release:

Virgin America is assisting the City of San Francisco Animal Care and Control by flying Chihuahua pups from San Francisco to New York so they can be adopted into loving homes to ring in the New Year. The massive overpopulation of Chihuahuas in California is forcing animal shelters on the West Coast to look to shelters on the East Coast for help – where there is demand for the dogs. The San Francisco Animal Care & Control asked Virgin America to spare a seat during the busy holiday travel season to help fly these needy pups. Several Virgin America teammates have volunteered to escort the pups on the flights to the East Coast – and will track their journey with real-time updates via the airline’s fleetwide WiFi service.

Virgin America will be sending the dogs off in high-style, with a red carpet send-off at the gate, complete with doggie treats and plenty of toys to play with until departure. The Chihuahuas will be received at JFK by the ASPCA (American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals) – who will place the little dogs in loving adoptive homes.

Yes, but you live in the magical land of Canadia!

Yes it's true. The secret to our healthcare system? All our pills are Cadbury Mini Eggs. They heal all.

I also saw miniature Easter Cream Eggs on display at the grocery store tonight. Way too soon!

Oofdah. I spent all day with Matilda in a classroom of 3 year old preschoolers. It was the first day in a new facility so the teacher was glad to have an extra pair of hands.

The Good: Teacher Haidie is great, warm and fun but firm where necessary. Most of the kids were very sweet. Brand new facility with lots of new toys.

The Bad: 11 boys and only 4 girls! The younger class was even more strongly boy tilted. Also, this place, which is already expensive, charges extra for every freakin' thing. Fuck you, UC Regents! I'm already paying $1300 a month, you don't deserve another $68 for soccer and $65 for gym. You don't even provide lunch like Matilda's old daycare. Dayum.

Matilda was tired as (a) she didn't sleep for half the night and (b) had to get up early so we could ferry Emmett to the East Bay. So it was good I was with her all day the first day. But she did fine. I had to leave at 11:30 to move the car and she didn't fret when I was gone for half an hour. And she was happy to settle down and nap on her little cot. But she definitely wasn't used to such a big group.

She was one of only three kids who were joining an already established bunch who had graduated up to this new facility.

The Kids:

Patrick: big boy. Bright and garrulous.
Ishan: Fidgety, fussy, grabby.
Rohan: Nice boy. Friendly. A little grabby.
Nicky & Colby: Fraternal twins. Nicky slightly pushy. Colby more genial.
Shivam: Sweetheart boy. Very cheerful.
Claire: Very bright. Quiet. Only speaking English for a year.
Gabriella: Long wavy hair (Greek). Bothy dreamy and rambunctious. Easygoing.
Sena: Girl, quiet, very pretty. Sweet and mild.
Darel: High energy. Very smart (knew all about trains and booster rockets). Sweet but had a couple anger management moments. Didn't nap.
Tai: (Boy) Cheerful and fun and gregarious.
Daniel: First time in any school or daycare setting. Nice boy. Not used to sharing. Got into a bit of a tussle with Ishan on the playground.
Kingwell: (Boy) Bright. Pretty nice. Has new baby brother.

I didn't meet some of the kids today because they don't come on Mondays.

At lunchtime I was sitting at a table with Matilda, Tai and Shivam. Tai asked me to help him open his container of cucumbers and I noted he had some crunchy munchies.

He replied defiantly, "I'm not a Crunchy Monkey! You're a Crunchy Monkey."

Which quickly turned into me asking every kid in the classroom if they were a Crunchy Monkey while they giggled and pointed accusingly at me saying I was a Crunchy Monkey.

This went on periodically throughout the day as I killed with the preschool demo.

"Patrick, are you a Crunchy Monkey?"
"No, you're a Crunchy Monkey!"
"Shivam, are you a Crunchy Monkey?"
"Nooooo! You're a Crunchy Monkey!"

It was kind of fun.

But I'm now I'm wiped. I'm drinking vodka and pounding Ibuprofen.

Hec, I always leave those experiences thinking preschool teachers deserve so much more. Frisco's age are currently potty training which is a whole new level.

I ordered something from Zappos a whole week ago, and it just arrived tonight!

Mine got here tonight! They are Doc Martens, and now I want to find something to stomp.

That seems like quite a day, Hec.

I seem to have dueling earworms of Hugh Jackman singing Rio De Janeiro and Sanford and Son sung all in meows. With a background of Welcome Back Kotter. I am about to commit ritual suicide.

Climbing stairs exhausts me. But I feel much better! Did my regular swim and can't figure out why that isn't exhausting. (I probably shouldn't, but I hope the chlorine levels take care of it, considering I was probably at the most contagious before I even felt sick.) I feel normal in the pool. I still sound congested, but the nasty snot is gone, my eyes aren't watery and stingy and my neck is no longer sore.