Oh lord, was I traumatized when I got hugged by the CEO at the end of her holiday party last year.

I get traumatised just watching coworkers hug each other.

Yeah, hugging at work is not on. A world of no.

Big!Boss and Wife hug us once a year, at the end of the holiday party. I'm fairly uncomfortable with that.

You hug-a-phobes have got all kinds of personal space issues.

Oh hells yes. It is a constant joke in my department how I involuntarily back away in my chair until I hit a wall. In my own office. It's maybe 10X10. Can't handle anyone beyond half of that before I hit a wall. My bubble, she is huge.

I think I've posted this before, but I'ma post it again since it's an ongoing conundrum for me.

In the kinky community, there's actually a "rule" of Don't Touch People Without Permission. And in the various books/websites that address this, they often say things like, "Even hugging someone."

Theoretically, most kinky people should know that.

In practice, kinky people are touchy-feely as HELL, and while someone might not run up and try to participate in a spanking/whatever, that same someone has no problem in a less-beaty, more-social situation of coming up behind women and rubbing their shoulders, or petting clothes that look fuzzy (like velvet; the problem being that the clothes are ON A HUMAN who might not want to be petted unannounced [or at all]).

I solve that problem by stepping away, out of reach.

An even stickier problem is all the goddamn hugs. I have boundary issues, and I'm just not comfortable hugging every damn person at a dinner/party/whatever. And choosing to not hug should be my goddamn prerogative. I shouldn't be forced to step back to evade a hug.

(I know this sounds ungracious; it's not that I don't like the people themselves, because I'm generally happy to see [most of] them. I just don't want to hug them.)

The problem is people who insist on a hug, who physically follow my stepping back in order to hug me, and/or people who are miffed -- MIFFED, I SAY -- that I wouldn't hug them. And then there's the issue that there are a few people I'm happy to hug, but the Ruthless Huggers seem to think that if I hug one person, I must be fair game to hug everyone, which is simply not true.

I feel like I should print cards and hand them out explaining that my boundaries are just that -- MINE -- and while I'm happy to see them, part of my boundaries is choosing who I hug, damn it.

But I shouldn't HAVE to explain it at all.

Pearl and Coco decided to start playing in the middle of the bed at 4:30 this morning. Usually, their play is unbearably cute (Pearl stalks and "attacks" Coco, Coco then "fights" back). But not when you're trying to sleep.

But I shouldn't HAVE to explain it at all.

You know, this is kind of like the earlier conversation about people being shocked! and appalled! by people who don't drink: Different people are different, and how hard is it to take a second and realize that other people's choices may not be yours, but are perfectly legitimate? I mean, seriously.

Different people are different, and how hard is it to take a second and realize that other people's choices may not be yours, but are perfectly legitimate? I mean, seriously.

Jesse, why do you hate America?

I should just get a tattoo that says DIFFERENT PEOPLE ARE DIFFERENT.

I should just get a tattoo that says DIFFERENT PEOPLE ARE DIFFERENT.

I'd like to get one that says "CAN'T YOU SEE THAT YOU HAVE INSULTED THE FREAKS?"

And this is foremost in my mind not just because of this conversation, but because I have a dinner tonight with kinky huggers.

I'm going to try to be a grownup and assert my boundaries.

Or possibly just keep a table between me and everyone else at all times.

This conversation should have gone in Bitches, cause, you know, "Hug it out, you little bitches." Although of course, that is a power play disguised as affection.(Piven did apologize to Kevin Connolly for the legions of frat boys who apparently see him on the street and can't resist shouting it.) I'm into hugging of actual intimates, but I hate when people try to take it there when I don't want to. And, you know, sitting, I'm short, so it's weird to feel all engulfed by someone I barely *saw* ten seconds ago.

Last-minute gift ideas, for those who need them: [link]

Cool clothes, jewelry, etc....

Theo's interview went well -- it turns out Tom W.'s direct report is the manager (!!!), so I'm hopeful of a home court advantage, but there are still a number of other interviews scheduled, et cetera... so I'll hold onto some of that job-ma for now!

YAY, and fingers still crossed.