What kind of shitheel tells someone this kind of crap?

That would be my question as well. The closest I have come to this is telling my close friend that she might be best served figuring out that by selecting the same type over and over again she is likely to get the same bad result. And yet she continues to be attracted to womanizing assholes and thinks they will change for her good lovin'. Ah, matters of the heart are indeed complex.

The other way I often think about it is, I really don't like a lot of people. I don't make friends that easily and I am regularly appalled at peoples' behavior. So, it's clear to me I don't want most people.

Yeah, that's me as well. Most people I meet I have no interest in getting to know better.

I'll be fine. I've just never really played hostess where I am the hostess. I'm billing this as an after work drink, despite a pair of my youngish coworkers wanting a party. Um, no. That's when I work up the nerve to do a proper, on the weekend, housewarming.

Besides picky, I am also selfish and prickly,don't like to share or explain, chafe at bearing any responsibility for other's feelings...hrm, maybe it is just he 3 weeks of parents in close quarters talking now.

I don't know...I once had a writer-in-residence tell me and a room FULL of my classmates that I might have a future as a journalist after all, because I wouldn't be out chasing tail(or however snobby UK bitches say that) Ten years later and I still want to tell her to fuck herself. But I was SO shocked that someone would say that to a total stranger, esp. on a goodwill tour. Goodwill;UR doin' it wrong. And why is my tag so perfect?

The closest I have come to this is telling my close friend that she might be best served figuring out that by selecting the same type over and over again she is likely to get the same bad result. And yet she continues to be attracted to womanizing assholes and thinks they will change for her good lovin'.

Isn't that sort of love's equivalent to starting land wars in Asia?

maybe it is just he 3 weeks of parents in close quarters talking now

yes, give yourself time to recover from that!

Okay! We'll be there 6:30ish I hope.

I think being picky (which I read as being true to ones instincts) is great. The area where a lot of women friends I know get confused is arbitrary deal-breakers. These are "standards" which have nothing to do with the actual relationship. If you truly like the person, don't worry if they like sports or whether they smoke or how old they are. I liked J the minute I met him and had MANY female friends warn me off because he was recently divorced, 6 years younger, and smoked. However, the essential pleasure I have in his company was there and still is. And he's quit smoking, the age thing is silly and the divorce thing was something he worked through. If I had lisstened to them, I would have been ingoring my inclinations for the sake of some odd, objective list.

Lisah is very picky, but she didn't allow the fact that her AWESOME BF lived in a different city to stop her from being with a guy she really liked. I know women who would strike someone off the list and never date them for that, despite really digging them. And look what happened, he moved!

Personally I think of msbelle, erika and Allyson as all being great catches. But then I'm a bit pollyanna about love; I don't believe in soul mates but I do think that there's more than one potential mate out there for each of us and that love is more a matter of compatible crazies than finding someone perfect.

But I have to add, Allyson it makes me so happy to see you describing yourself as attractive because I know sometimes it's hard for you to see yourself that way. You are so pretty and so sexy, so much sexier than you know.

Dude, dating is hard. That's probably why I don't do it.

t'd be difficult to write without more than occasionally dipping my toes in hypocrisy.

I was being a little tongue-in-cheek, but I also wouldn't mind more books about relationships that don't go like this:

In the opening scene of Amy Sohn's Prospect Park West, Rebecca, a Park Slope mother, masturbates to a Roman Polanski film while her baby naps. When the batteries in her vibrator die, she has to make “a Sophie's choice,” her orgasm or her daughter's sleep. She replaces the batteries with the ones from her daughter's mobile—and the child promptly wakes up crying.

It was only a little harsh when it was said, it certainly was not said to be cruel. And really, it's not wrong. Let's think about the population and me:

people who want a trophy mate - no
people who want their own kids - no
people who want to go out a lot/travel a lot - no
people who want a quiet unassuming wife - no
people who have a problem with church - no
people who have a problem with inter-racial families - no
people who have a problem with marriage - no

and I am not even one of those list people - that's just stuff that has come up on actual dates.