Okay, I give. I get it and y'all were right and I was blinded by empathy on the victim's part. The good of the whole has to outweigh the good of the individual and I can see that and I suppose, make an uneasy peace with it.
Barb, I think it's possible to hold 2 (or more) different viewpoints on such a fraught matter. You can totally side with the victim's desire to not keep being dragged through this over and over and over and *also* want a clear message to be sent via the judicial system that a rapist cannot get away with the crime just because he has money, friends, and a home in Switzerland.
This makes me think of Michael Jackson. I think he was an amazing artist. I also think he abused young boys, which is disgusting and deserved some sort of punishment. I also think that he was so deeply, deeply fucked up starting from his own boyhood, and never got help, that it was almost inevitable that he was going to end up abusing children. I think that, along with legal punishment, he needed as much psychological help as humanly possible. His talent and his history don't excuse -- to me -- his reprehensible behavior in abusing children.
And similarly, when it comes to the Polanski case, I wish that his victim didn't have to keep being dragged through the press. That's not justice for her. But, like Nora, I will not give ground on rape.
Does that make sense?
It muddies the water in a way that makes me very angry.
It muddies waters that should be CRYSTAL FUCKING CLEAR and that is enraging.
I need to find an endurance suit. Heard one of the triathlete swimmers at the pool talking about it lasting longer than 3 months. I'd like longer than a month before it starts shredding.
It muddies waters that should be CRYSTAL FUCKING CLEAR and that is enraging.
Oh, I hear you. But I, too, have to remind myself that no matter how stupid this girl's mother was, she isn't to blame, either.
I recall being hit on as a 13 year old by a guy who was 17 and it brings up all sorts of icky feelings. This fucker was a predator and I am lucky he couldnt't get close enough to me to act, because my parents were super-vigilant when I was that age.
it was almost inevitable that he was going to end up abusing children
I agree with everything you said about Jackson except I don't see the "almost inevitable" part. Although my knowledge on how abused children grow up is minimal....
But, yeah, I can't get around the fact that honoring the victim's desire to let it all be over and letting it go would mean (a) opening the door to letting a horrific number of domestic violence and child abuse cases go, and (b) sending a loud, clear signal that you can dodge the law forever with zero consequences if you're only rich and important enough.
Yeah. I was just really blinded by the "She wants it gone, let it be gone, please let it be gone," desire and not really looking at the bigger picture.
Bleah. I just look at Matilda sitting on the floor all absorbed in her toddler TV and the mama bear brain goes pure HULK SMASH.
Oh God yes. What I want most for my kids is for them to be kids and be kept safe from this sort of thing and frankly, I'm a little ashamed of myself that I... not so much let that slip, because as I already said, if anyone ever laid a finger on Abby or Nate, for that matter in such a manner, I'd probably kill, but that I let the victim's adult wishes supercede the child who was violated and all the children that can be protected in the future.
And now for something completely different...
A few months back CJ submitted a poem to a poetry contest. He had actually written the poem a few months before, but edited it down to fit the word count requirement. Anyway, he is poem was chosen to be published in a "Young American Poetry Digest" for 2009.
We just got our copy of the digest and it is so cool seeing his creativity in print. My mom had been so proud of him and had paid for our copy of the book. I'm so sorry she didn't get to see it. CJ is very happy with himself, as he should be.
Aww, go CJ! would he mind if you posted the poem? I'd love to read it.
That's great news about CJ! A poet! That's not how I pegged him at age 10.
