Willow ,'Showtime'
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io9 reviews The Last Airbender: M. Night Shyamalan Finally Made A Comedy
And The Last Airbender is a lavish parody of big-budget fantasy epics. It's got everything: the personality-free hero, the nonsensical plot twists, the CG clutter, the bland romance, the new-age pablum. No expense is spared — Shyamalan even makes sure to make fun of distractingly shitty 3-D, by featuring it in his movie.
damn.
I guess we found the summer "hit" that critics have been waiting to trash.
Oh, but you need to quote this bit:
a kind of Hero's-Journey bukkake
also from io9
Katara says my favorite line ever, "We need to show them that we believe in our beliefs as much as they believe in their beliefs."
a kind of Hero's-Journey bukkake
"You will be finding chunks of Joseph Campbell's calcified spooge behind your ears for three days after watching this film, no matter how many times you bathe."
I've come to a place where I'm... kinda grateful, actumally. I was so angry about the casting, and so worried about the fact that Shyamalan was doing the film, but damn if the reviews haven't given me way more than two hours of entertainment.
I know, right?
I feel uneasy about being schadenfreudey, in case there's another shoe to drop, but what could it be?
Chron review:
After spending the last decade making bad movies, writer-director M. Night Shyamalan has branched out in "The Last Airbender." He has made a really bad movie.
To be specific, he has made a dull, boring, poorly acted, limply written and thoroughly unappealing fantasy, featuring bland characters locked in a struggle of no interest. What's more, his film doesn't derail. It's off track from its first seconds,
The movie is in 3-D, and it's the worst use of 3-D in the modern era. It's unimaginative, not eye-catching and ends up actually emphasizing the fakeness of the effects and the landscape.
The cast is mostly made up of unknowns - Dev Patel from "Slumdog Millionaire," as the downcast fire Prince, is the biggest name here. Using unknowns presents an opportunity to discover talent, but the young people here make the kids in the "Twilight" movies look like scintillating wits. Noah Ringer, as the title character, just seems like a nice bald child. Nicola Peltz as the last waterbender barely registers, and Jackson Rathbone as her brother keeps spitting out his lines with tension in his voice and his eyes bugging.
They needed help from their director, but Shyamalan is incapable of guiding them. Scenes are shapeless, without punch and usually without point. He doesn't seem to know much about acting. He doesn't seem to know much about drama. Eleven years ago, Shyamalan's "The Sixth Sense" looked like the beginning of a brilliant career. Today it looks like a fantastic anomaly, like a flowerbed in an arid wasteland or some eighth wonder of the world.
Advisory: Kids may fall asleep and then have trouble getting to bed later that night.
"EARTH BENDERS! THERE IS DIRT UNDER YOUR FEET! THERE'S DIRT ALL AROUND YOU! WHY DON'T YOU FIGHT?" And everybody's like, "Whoa."
To be fair, this scene is straight out of an episode (one of my least favorites, actually). The actual line belongs to Katara and goes, "Here's your chance, earthbenders! (She grabs a lump of coal and raises it high.) Take it! Your fate is in your own hands!" (Well, that's after she gives a minute-long inspirational speech. Because she's Katara.)
So the line may me bad, but the sentiment is the same.