Huh. If it's not a twist for the audience, then I don't get the point other than being promo chickenshit.

Well you're just a big, cranky, non-magical POLAR BEAR!!

What's magic about turning Dracula/Sauron into a freakin' dentist?

Not that part - the part where Willy goes home and has dinner with Charlie's family. Just that little part.

What's magic about turning Dracula/Sauron into a freakin' dentist?

Psst, Hec. Saruman. Sauron was played by a suit of armour and then a flaming yoni.

And Dracula could use the dental work.

the part where Willy goes home and has dinner with Charlie's family. Just that little part.

I hate that part! The earlier version is much better. The plot actually makes sense and it comes down to Charlie making a choice which defines him. In the Burton Wonka we get a needless, over-explainy, here's-10-minutes-of-my-last-therapy-session, backstory. Willy Wonka does not need a conventional finds-a-family plot resolution. He's much more intriguing as the slightly sinister figure portrayed by Gene Wilder.

The Burton Wonka (which has its virtues) pours simple syrup over the main character.

Psst, Hec. Saruman. Sauron was played by a suit of armour and then a flaming yoni.

Oops.

Remember the days of the flaming yoni? Good times.

Allyson going off on LoTR is second only to her deconstruction of the Green Lantern mythos.

Here Comes Sharktopus!

Syfy Channel has just greenlighted the long-awaited Sharktopus movie, to be directed by cult monster auteur Roger Corman. Will the sharktopus look like this concept design by Matt Leach? Sources inside Syfy say it will be way weirder.

Syfy's Karen O'Hara, who is the channel's director of original movies, tweeted Wednesday:

Just got off the phone with the legendary Roger Corman who's doing a new movie for us this year. Yes, it's the long-rumored SHARKTOPUS! . . . Spent half an hour discussing what a sharktopus should look like, how many mouths it should have and how it should kill.

Clearly Corman and O'Hara are designing an awesomely weird version of an already-weird monster. They're not just thinking toothy mouth, but multiple mouths. Speaking as a giant monster fan, that's what I like to hear.

Here is another artist's conception of a sharktopus, which is quite nice but only has one mouth. Serious drawback.

Why would a sharktopus have multiple mouths? Neither a shark nor an octopus have multiple mouths. Right? I mean, it should be, like, a beak.

Syfy Channel has just greenlighted the long-awaited Sharktopus movie, to be directed by cult monster auteur Roger Corman.

That seems very dubious. Corman has directed exactly one film in the past forty years.

For Juliebird's nature films: Born Free (although they do have human/animal bonding there, they do set the lion free at the end, don't they?) and Never Cry Wolf, with Charles Martin Smith.