10 Toy-Based Movies Ideas That Would Blow Away Battleship
Movie Idea: Connect Four
Tagline: Fear, diagonally.
Elevator pitch: Milton Bradley's abstract strategy game transforms into an apocalyptic race against time in this sci-fi blockbuster, starring Ryan Gosling and Rihanna as technocratic dictators (and ex-lovers) locked in a perpetual war of mutually assured destruction and reconstruction on the planet Ouroboros. After erecting, then annihilating, exquisite tech-noir skyscrapers and impossibly high vertical farms using strategically placed death discs, it is left to a brilliant but raunchy elderly mathematician (Betty White) to unite the ex-lovers with a perfect-play strategy inspired by James D. Allen and Victor Allis, who solved the game on Earth in the late '80s. Catchphrases from the game's TV commercial -- "Here, diagonally" and "Pretty sneaky, sis" -- are incorporated into the film's final moments, when the formerly self-centered Gosling asks the formerly obstinate Rihanna how she would like to be kissed.
Connect Four: The Movie trailer. Rated R for violence, violence, more violence, some intense stuff, and maybe some more violence.
Connect Four trailer. Somehow this one is about throwing plates.
Connect Four Million.
Lost
spoilers!
I poked around the Hasbro site the other day, and made a list of the potential next blockbuster movies, and I can't even find it.
Still, I think
Jenga
will be breath-holding, spine-tingling, on-the-edge-of-your-seat exciting. I can't wait to see it in 3D.
There was an episode of
Monk
where a character was obsessed with Jenga. Then at the final showdown in a lumber yard, he used his Jenga skills to knock out the criminal.
Tonight is the last night I can see The Cabin in the Woods at the theater, but it's a 10:00 showing and I'm not sure I can comfortably sit in a theater chair for a couple of hours. Darn it, I wanted to see it again before it ran its course!
So will
The Avengers
outgross
Battleship
this weekend?
Good question!
Battleship
outgrossed
Titanic 3-D
in the UK, FWIW.
Oh I hope so. I want it to rake in a steady couple of hundred million a week until it hits the magic $3 billion mark.
I saw Cabin in the Woods today. THAT was a lot of fun. I was a bit spoiled, but it was very hard to avoid reading certain things about. I would have loved to have seen it completely unaware (like not even a trailer, which the ones I saw gave some of the game away).
Was I the only one who kept thinking of the
five victims to be as Tributes? Because some of this really struck me as being very Hunger Games-ish thematically, although miles away tonally. I'm not so sure now if Joss would have been a good choice for Hunger Games; I know he can do grim, bleak and dark, but he does also need a certain amount of humor in there somewhere. Who knows?
Also, while I pretty much knew what
Bradley Whitford's fate was going to be once he started talking about Mermen (I knew going in that all hell breaks loose at the end, although not that at the very end it was quite that literal) his pitch-perfect delivery of "Oh COME on!" really sold the moment.
Finally, does anyone know if that was
Sigourney's voice that Marty kept hearing in the cabin? I didn't recognize it at as her, but I did recognize her as soon as I heard the voice in the facilities.
FILM CRIT HULK REVIEW AVENGERS. If you can get past the CAPSLOCK, it's a really good review, and he makes the exact point I did about the cathartic circling power shot.
