Jenny ,'Bring On The Night'
A place to talk about movies--old and new, good and bad, high art and high cheese. It's the place to place your kittens on the award winners, gossip about upcoming fims and discuss DVD releases and extras. Spoiler policy: White font all plot-related discussion until a movie's been in wide release two weeks, and keep the major HSQ in white font until two weeks after the video/DVD release.
Oh, no no no. Never dis The Goonies!!!
Not only do I dis it, I pull off its head and shit down its neck.
Then I put it inside a turducken and deep fry it. When it's golden brown and crispy, I deface it with magic markers, mocking it in pidgin French and then I bury it in a box in a hole with an atomic powered iPod set to play Celine Dion in an endless loop.
OK, now you are just baiting us!
Well, I admire your over-the-top-ness of your dislike, in a Moulin Rouge way.
OK, now you are just baiting us!
How can you doubt the sincerity of my hatred for The Goonies?
Wow, that had a lot of typos. Because I was blind with Goonies induced rage.
How can you doubt the sincerity of my hatred for The Goonies?
Hating The Goonies means you lack a soul.
I know you have a soul, therefore, you must not hate The Goonies with that much passion.
My worst theatre going experience (not counting Hellraiser IV, which I pretty much watched through my fingers) was Cape Fear (the remake). I thought it sucked, and hated myself for my sheeplike tendencies as a high school student (I am pretty sure I drove)
Hating The Goonies means you lack a soul.
To the contrary, it wounded my very soul with its craptapulence.
My low-water mark for Bad Movies was, for many many MANY years, Rhinestone, the movie in which Sylvester Stallone SANG. Country music. With Dolly Parton.
My bad-movie assessment was always, "Well, it was bad, but not as bad as Rhinestone."
Only Magnolia managed to unseat Rhinestone, and I now use Magnolia as the Bad Movie Comparator against which all other movies are measured.
Though I have not seen it, my parents' Bad Movie Comparator has always been Delta Force.
Mine is Eye of the Beholder. God, not even Ewan McGregor could save that dreck.
Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow was pretty darned awful. Hard to make sense of what was on the screen, indulging in all the worst of the 40s serials cliches without even having the skill to make it satirical, and an ending where I'm not really sure what happened.