many of them don't quite get why women feel so defensive about any unwanted attention from men.

That's Schrodinger's rapist. (That's an excellent piece of writing, BTW, and well worth reading, for both men and women. The comments, however, top the 1,000 mark, and so reading the comments may take a huge chunk of your time; don't feel compelled to read them. But read the blog entry itself. Please.)

This conversation also involved one of the other officemates trying to figure out exactly what "rape" means. He kept putting out these increasingly complicated scenarios, "If I say this and then she says this and then I do this and then this happens and then she says this and she does this and I say this and I sleep with her, is that rape?" I finally ended up snapping at him, "If she says no, then you stop. Period. If you don't have that amount of control over yourself, then you really have no business being part of society." At which point he looked to one of the other guys in the office for confirmation. Other guy nodded, and this guy said, "OK, I guess."

Some great news was announced while I was asleep.

Congrats on the baby, Jessica - that's fantastic!

Congrats and very happy engagement, Gris!

Congrats on the album, Spidra Webster (in case you happen to stop by here)!

WindSparrow, health~ma for you and your residents.

Shir, your uni schedule sounds awesome. (Except quant research methods. Ugh. I'm a qualitative researcher through and through. Can't help it. Even though I have to collect stats occasionally - but grudgingly.) Genealogy and Society sounds particularly interesting. Do post about that! Hope you enjoy it all.

Followed by "Qualitative and Quantitative Methods - Let's Make Them Fight!"

That's pretty much what my training in research methods involved this past year.

"If she says no, then you stop. Period. If you don't have that amount of control over yourself, then you really have no business being part of society." At which point he looked to one of the other guys in the office for confirmation. Other guy nodded, and this guy said, "OK, I guess."

That was really impressive, Hil.

Steph, thanks for the link to the Schrodinger's Rapist entry. I like Shapely Prose, but I hadn't seen that before. I'm going to link to that from my blog at some point. Scary but essential reading.

OK, a lot to post back about.

First, Kristin! I can't see your pictures. I'm Arch.Safe at Flickr (other Buffistas - feel free to add me too, if you'd like).

Gris!!!!! Congrats! And congrats to Spidra Webster, too. And Health~ma and luck~ma to Andi.

your uni schedule sounds awesome. (Except quant research methods

Right there with you.

Hil, why do icky office mates stick to you?

And lastly, Steph, thank you so much for the Schrodinger's Rapist link. I'm sending it now to all of my friends. And that's from a girl who walks alone at night in the streets, because she feels she has every right to do so without feeling scared. Which I do remind myself every time I'm feeling uncomfortable walking alone in the dark, but truth be told: I usually feel a hell lot more uncomfortable walking on my own on a busy street in daylight, mostly in places that don't feel like "home" to me. I just don't feel like I really belong there, and that "they" can see it on me.

Nora - great pictures! I'm now looking at them. And I'm editing this again to say how beautiful Nora is.

Edit to add: oh, the funnies: [link]

Shir, I've added you. I'm pix_kristin (surprise!).

I need to go back and check out all the pictures people posted above, but first I need to sleep. It's way too late for me to still be awake. ND and I just booked our flights to Hawaii, though, so that's kind of cool. I'm almost tempted to use an emoticon.

Kristin, Shir ~ I've added you on Flickr. (Then I realised I needed to do some serious sorting out of my photos there. Done. Now to find more things with which to spend Saturday happily wasting time.)

And I've added you both. Anyone else wants to join the adding party?

Thanks all for the congratulations. We're very excited. We have to make some plans, now, which is fairly intimidating for me. Luckily, Meg has a planning family.

Our biggest problem right now is that being teachers we'd like a summer wedding for ease, but my brother is getting married July 31 next summer. So we have to figure out the best way to time it without stealing his thunder or making it too difficult on our family members. But we'll work that out.

Yay!

Also, congrats to Jessica. I love it when Buffistas have babies.

That's Schrodinger's rapist. (That's an excellent piece of writing, BTW, and well worth reading, for both men and women. The comments, however, top the 1,000 mark, and so reading the comments may take a huge chunk of your time; don't feel compelled to read them. But read the blog entry itself. Please.)

That was a very well-written article. I was particularly taken with the part about respecting a woman's right to set her own boundaries, and how it's perceived if they're ignored.

We have to make some plans, now, which is fairly intimidating for me. Luckily, Meg has a planning family.

I have a Girl who is intimidated by the planning stuff. I roped in my best friend and former flatmate (and highly, highly organized person) as wedding planner type person. Mainly so that there'd be someone making things happen. It seems to be working. Best of luck with your planning! Would a late August wedding be out of the question?