Isn't a long time boyfriend with whom you live it is the equivalent of a spouse? Not in the Husband/Wife meaning, but in the legal and emotional sense of the word?
I think after seven years, it's common-law marriage or something?
That sounds right. Though we haven't been together that long.
my co-worker refers to her boyfriend whom she lives with but has not married as her "partner."
I do that on forms that want a phone number for emergency contact, and they want to know the relationship of the person. "Boyfriend" sounds too junior-high, so I've defaulted to "Partner." But in person I introduce him as my boyfriend.
In a number of ways, you're counted as 'common-law spouses' from the moment you live together here. This causes The Girl and I no end of problems, as we don't want to merge our finances until we're married. There are a few ways that the seven-year rule still counts, like co-ownership of property, but other things kick in early. I presume this is solely to save the government money.
I think common-law marriage is a state-by-state thing. After I'd been living with the same guy for about seven years, it occurred to me (with horror) that we might actually be married, so I checked. To my relief, Tennessee does not have common-law marriage. Or at least, it didn't circa 1991.
"Partner" is very confusing when used by straights. I get why it's used (more serious/adult than boyfriend/girlfriend), but I always think the person is telling me he/she is gay. The straight friend use of "girlfriend" is similarly confusing.
Yeah, I get confused by the "girlfriend" thing too.
but I always think the person is telling me he/she is gay.
I do wonder if whoever reads it thinks I'm gay (though The Boy's name is unequivocally a man's name), or thinks that he's my business partner or something.
I think after seven years, it's common-law marriage or something?
Not quite -- in the US version of the thing, there are a few states that allow marriage by declaring yourselves to be married (as opposed to getting a license from the gummint); this can include either doing a thing in front of witnesses or living/presenting yourselves as if married. This all goes back to English law before the marriage law reforms of the 1750s*, and so only exists in states that adopted their local laws way back then: definitely Pennsylvania, maybe New Hampshire and a few other legal oddballs? In none of those places is there an automatic "you're hitched if you live together for xxyy years"** without intention to marry, and in the places where it does exist, the rules vary widely.
* also crucially important in racy Regency-era abduction plots! Or any time you see people running off to Gretna Green!
** but boy did we scare ourselves in high school with the idea that you might end up ACCIDENTALLY OMG MARRIED
(IANAL, just freaky-researchy and easily amused.)
When my mother was not yet married to her now-husband, I was stumped as what to call him. He was in his 60s and rather portly and serious-looking - not a boyfriend. He had a partner - a partner in his dentistry office. I sometimes went with "gentleman friend."
Like when you're talking about somebody you go to the mall with and say "Nice earrings...my girlfriend Cheryl has them in black."
I used to do this more when I had fewer gay friends.
Also "hey, girlfriend!" seems to have met the same fate as "posse"
When my mother was not yet married to her now-husband, I was stumped as what to call him. He was in his 60s and rather portly and serious-looking - not a boyfriend
When Lewis and I lived together, before we were married, his mother used to refer to me as his "special friend."
Which caused us no end of amusement.
