You never know if a girl's gonna say 'yes', or if she's gonna laugh in your face and pull out your still-beating heart and crush it into the ground with her heel.

Xander ,'Help'


Spike's Bitches 44: It's about the rules having changed.  

[NAFDA] Spike-centric discussion. Lusty, lewd (only occasionally crude), risqué (and frisqué), bawdy (Oh, lawdy!), flirty ('cuz we're purty), raunchy talk inside. Caveat lector.


WindSparrow - Sep 24, 2009 1:33:33 pm PDT #24291 of 30000
Love is stronger than death and harder than sorrow. Those who practice it are fierce like the light of stars traveling eons to pierce the night.

And I don't have any ADD/ADHD or anything like it.

Not that it's my business, so I'm not expecting you to answer me - it's just something to think about - if you have not been evaluated by a professional who has a lot of experience with women with ADD or ADHD, you may not really know if you do or do not have it. Girls and women often go undiagnosed because it does not look the same on them as it does on boys. For girls, hyperactivity often looks like naughty little girls who talk a lot, and the Inattentive Type looks a lot like well-behaved, smart little girls who stare out of windows, day-dreaming a lot. And this statement:

I was always at the top of my classes
Does not disqualify a person from having it. A smart kid who has an Attention Deficit issue may still do well in school because the external structure of the school day goes a long way in providing some focus.

When I was first diagnosed with ADD, I worked with a therapist, who said that the great thing about ADD or ADHD minds is that they can see all the possibilities in a situation. The challenge for us is to learn how to narrow down all those possibilities into a manageable, do-able amount.

If this sounds at all like the challenges you have, Shir, you may wish to consider getting evaluated. Again, I'm not saying this to you to make things difficult, or because I think you should justify yourself to me. I'm saying it, just in case you might possibly get some good out of it. Because I went undiagnosed until I was in my 30s, it really hampered my academic career - and I'd love to spare others the same troubles.


Kathy A - Sep 24, 2009 1:36:42 pm PDT #24292 of 30000
We're very stretchy. - Connie Neil

Do you know what the percentage of men with ADHD/ADD vs. women is, Windsparrow? It's just something I was always curious about.

Oh, BTW, I meant to tell you that not only is Amarna losing weight with the Wellness food, her coat has also got superglossy! You can practically see yourself in that black fur reflection. And, she's jumping everywhere now that she's feeling much more energetic!


Shir - Sep 24, 2009 1:45:59 pm PDT #24293 of 30000
"And that's why God Almighty gave us fire insurance and the public defender".

I don't know, WindSparrow - and thank you so much for your advice, but I was never even a suspect of ADD/ADHD.

From the little I know about it, it's about having trouble focusing on one thing for long time, right? Well, when I have to, I don't have a lot of problem - or any problem - focusing for hours or days or weeks on one or two subjects.

I'm just usually impatient. Combining this with having some uncertainties while being out of strict boundaries... well, that can make me anxious. I'm not only happy, I actually thrive when I'm under strict boundaries.

After saying this, if you still think I might have an ADD/ADHD, I'd go and get evaluated.


Seska (the Watcher-in-Training) - Sep 24, 2009 1:59:08 pm PDT #24294 of 30000
"We're all stories, in the end. Just make it a good one, eh?"

Argh.

It's midnight and I'm supposed to be up at 7, but sleep is clearly not going to happen. I'm trying to talk The Girl through the crisis over the internet. This is where her family's international thing is really sucky.


P.M. Marc - Sep 24, 2009 2:01:09 pm PDT #24295 of 30000
So come, my friends, be not afraid/We are so lightly here/It is in love that we are made; In love we disappear

Seska, are you able to take tomorrow off due to family emergency? I am sorry, by the way.


-t - Sep 24, 2009 2:01:36 pm PDT #24296 of 30000
I am a woman of various inclinations and only some of the time are they to burn everything down in frustration

{{Seska}} It's so hard not being able to be there while the crisis is going on.


Polter-Cow - Sep 24, 2009 2:08:27 pm PDT #24297 of 30000
What else besides ramen can you scoop? YOU CAN SCOOP THIS WORLD FROM DARKNESS!

{{Seska}}


Seska (the Watcher-in-Training) - Sep 24, 2009 2:08:40 pm PDT #24298 of 30000
"We're all stories, in the end. Just make it a good one, eh?"

Seska, are you able to take tomorrow off due to family emergency?

I'm writing my dissertation, so I mostly set my own schedule at the moment, but I was supposed to have a meeting tomorrow morning. It might be rearrange-able.

Apologies for needing to share the stress here, but most of my online life is too connected with offline life to be able to talk about this (I have no idea who they have or haven't told - I think they only just heard).

Plus, you guys do this great ~ma thing. And are awesome.


WindSparrow - Sep 24, 2009 2:23:50 pm PDT #24299 of 30000
Love is stronger than death and harder than sorrow. Those who practice it are fierce like the light of stars traveling eons to pierce the night.

From the little I know about it, it's about having trouble focusing on one thing for long time, right?

Erm, not exactly. People with ADD or ADHD may alternate distractibility with periods of hyperfocus - focusing on something to the exclusion of other things for an extended time. In some of the ADD ADHD forums I've been to online, some folks say they would prefer to call it Variable Attention Disorder, because sometimes we focus too much, and sometimes we can't focus - and it is usually whichever is least convenient for the circumstance. Here is a checklist that might help you know if it is worth getting evaluated: [link]

Do you know what the percentage of men with ADHD/ADD vs. women is, Windsparrow? It's just something I was always curious about.

IIRC, in the past the ratio of women to men diagnosed with ADHD was 1:9, and then since then it has been acknowledged that females have been under-diagnosed. I've seen some speculation that as many women as men have it in reality. But I do not know the current numbers, now that they are recognizing girls show it differently.

Oh, BTW, I meant to tell you that not only is Amarna losing weight with the Wellness food, her coat has also got superglossy! You can practically see yourself in that black fur reflection. And, she's jumping everywhere now that she's feeling much more energetic!

Yay for a healthy, happier Amarna. Wellness is good stuff.


WindSparrow - Sep 24, 2009 2:26:51 pm PDT #24300 of 30000
Love is stronger than death and harder than sorrow. Those who practice it are fierce like the light of stars traveling eons to pierce the night.

Plus, you guys do this great ~ma thing. And are awesome.

Much ~ma to The Girl's father, to her whole family, and to you. Please don't apologize for needing a safe place to let it out.