Actually, I think the key to this is being able to not be bothered by the fact that someone may not like you because you said no.
Yeah, this is a major part of my issue. I'm so terrified of conflict and I really want people to like me. Oh, hello, lifelong struggle - we're going to be together a long, long time so let's make friends!
Honestly, I can't tell you how many times I've thought, "Man, I so wish I could channel Vortex right now..."
Steph, uggh. Definitely sweet of The Boy but yes, I can see why you need to do it yourself. I like your point about the housework. Starting with small, concrete things is a good way to practice.
(Also: Viva la pee!!!)
HAH!
She had a bad attitude with me and I was trying to give her money.
::blinks:: Well, there went the last teeny scrap of sympathy I might have for her cluelessness.
One hour and fifteen minutes later... I have approached the task, done some prelim work, opened the document, and figured out where I'm going to start. But not actually started. Wow, sometimes I fascinate me.
I have to say no, and do disciplinary hearings and even fire people and I find it fairly easy, mostly because I work in a very supportive place and if they are getting warnings or whatever, it's because they really did bad work over a long period of time. They're adults and if they choose not to follow the very clear and gentle training we give, then they made their freaking bed.
I have had so many incompetent, clueless or actively unkind bosses in the past that I look on this job as a chance to do those things in the most respectful and caring way possible. I try to be the boss I wanted when I was in the employee's position. Doing it that way makes it a lot easier for me--and for them, I hope.
Skip! Sorry. But thought the news was worthy.
Quick phone call from sis this morning. Dad is sitting in a chair and grumpy. No more tube down throat. Still sore tummy. Not eating or drinking yet. Hopes to be moved out of icu late today or tomorrow.
oh, omnis, what a relief!
Yay for grumpy chair-sitting dad!
I'm not a boss or a parent, but I have no problem saying no or laying down the law as a teacher. Hey, I've got a classroom of barely sober kiddoes who may or may not be on opposing sides of the local gang war, I'm not wasting too much time with wondering if it's an appropriate boundary to set. But I also have the luxury of my program being completely voluntary, and the worst possible punishment to not be allowed to participate. Clear guidelines established from the beginning and consistent enforcement. Not that we always get there, but we definitely try.
"No" has never been a problem for me, ever. The other half, giving orders, "you must do this" and imposing consequences when people don't that is tough.
That's terrific, o_a! I hope your dad continues to improve.
I didn't have much trouble setting boundaries as a teacher in a nearby community college. It's a great gig. You don't have to deal with parents, and you can tell the students, "You're free to not do the homework, not show up, not act appropriately in class, and not study. And I'm free to flunk you. For anyone who wants to avoid that, here's the syllabus. Let's get started."
Oh omnis, wonderful news!