This doctor had also obviously read through my file before seeing me. It is so nice when I don't have to give my whole history to a doctor that I've seen a zillion times before. And with him, there's definitely a lot of, "Hey, this is an interesting case -- don't see this every day," going on there, but I am perfectly willing to put up with being studied and looked at if it means that someone is actually paying attention.

Also, when prescribing new meds, he told me what he was thinking about prescribing, told me how well it usually works and what the side effects are, and waited for me to say that I wanted to try it before he wrote out the prescription. (With the previous doctor, I asked if there was something stronger I could take for the pain, and she wrote out a prescription and handed it to me without even telling me what it was. I had to ask what drug it was for and then look up all the info on the internet, because she pretty much just told me "it'll make you hurt less.")

When my dad was alive, we would talk every few weeks or so, Mom less so. I would call when struck by guilt or when something reminded me of her or I thought she would find interesting or funny. After Dad died, I tried to call daily, found that was more intent than reality. It's more every other day generally, and not so much on weekends.

Speaking of calling mom. I just did. After 90 minutes she let slip something about a rental car. Huh? Why a rental!?!? Oh ya, well there was a minor accident and both airbags deployed. Not a lot of damage, but because of the air bags, the 2000 car is totalled. WTF!!??!! I didn't want to call because there is nothing you can do. And then spent another 90 minutes searching for used cars for her in CA. Uggggg. At the end of the call I guilted her to stop finding reasons to not call, and remember the one reason TO call, unless of course you don't love me. We shall see how long it takes for her to call.

The Times Higher Education magazine has listed a 'canon' of social science writing (they don't admit it's a social science list, but it seems to be). [link] I quite like it, and should read more of what's on it. I'm impressed that they've included 'Gender Trouble'.

I need a serious hit over the head with a great sociology tome to get me back into work mode, which I have lost entirely. Might go to Borders and find one of these. Hmm. Goffman or Said?

This doctor had also obviously read through my file before seeing me. It is so nice when I don't have to give my whole history to a doctor that I've seen a zillion times before.

Hil, your doctor sounds great. I have yet to find such a respectful and helpful GP (they mostly stomp all over my silly idea that I might know my weird body better than they do). Not having to give your history is such a relief, isn't it? I'm so tired of specialists who ask me things that are right there on the top of my file. I hope the new prescription helps you, and the splints.

Re: calling parents. If I called my mother every day, she'd think something was horribly wrong. Like all good Irish mothers, she bemoans regularly that I don't call her enough, but I do try to remember to call about once a week. My dad is happy with regular e-mails and visits about once every couple of months, which suits me much better than phone calls. I do not like the phone. Oh, then there's my grandmother, who does a mixture of e-mailing, calling and telling me I should visit more often (this is true). That would be the Irish thing, too. She likes us to come over so that The Girl can fix her computer. She loses Google a lot.

Hey, on Facebook, who is Dianne C--- in Atlanta?

A longtime Bronzer. She's nice, but I don't know how she'd be linked to b.org.

Hmm. Goffman or Said?

In my book, always Said.

I live in the same city as my parents, and I *try* to call them once a week. Of course, sometimes that doesn't happen, and when I do call I get the "Oh, we have a daughter?" comment. No matter how often I point out that THEY could call ME.

I get the "Who is this? Sunil, who's that? I have a son?" in addition to the "Oh, you remembered you have a mom?" I am supposed to call at least once a week, more would be better, but I never bother because she calls me fifty billion times a week so there's no point. If my phone rings and it's not my mom, I am surprised.

In my book, always Said.

A much better writer and thinker, but not so much my area of research as Goffman is.

Job~ma to Jilli, hugz to smonster and general~ma to all Buffistas which I missed by skimming.

My mom is usually the one to call. Average of 4-5 times per week, sometimes 1-2 times per day. We don't have a lot to say to each other - conversations lasts about 5 minutes. She just wants to know I'm alright.

I'm not so bitter towards the academia here anymore. I guess that's just like the rest of my human fellows, I hate it when change is enforced upon me, and not something that happens naturally.

For new year and once my grandfather's inheritance will be in my bank account and I'll stop feeling so guilty for being supported by my parents (even that will still be the case, but they'll have more money to support me), I think I want Jilli's book and the dress I WANT SO BAD from Bernard (a store here with clothing that looks the awesome on me). It's satin, little longer than a mini-dress, and even though I haven't tried it on - it'll look wonderful, I'm sure of it.

When both parents were alive we talked on the phone about once a week. We generally traded off, and if I let them do the calling for a few weeks in a row I'd get pointed questions about remembering their number.

When Mom got sick, Dad would call more often because he had primary care duties and wanted the support. After Mom died Dad was lonely and we usually talked five or more times a week. It was odd after he died. Almost all my friends contact me by email (my preferred method of communication, so I can go back and double check agreed dates/times/plans for lo, I am a flake), so my phone just stopped ringing.

I generally talk to my parents once a week (almost always on Sunday morning). That's been our pattern (and my sisters) since we all went to college. In between phone calls we email as much as we need/want to - sometimes that's every day, sometimes less.

When my DH's mother was alive, he'd talk to her every day. It was difficult to actually have a conversation because she wasn't a get-up-and-go sort, and didn't have a lot to say. Mostly, she wanted to hear what we'd done all day. While I understood that she was lonely, and really looked forward to the calls, you'd finish telling her what you wanted to share, and she'd say, "What else?" There wasn't any actual conversation. It drove me up a wall and I finally told the DH not to put me on the phone with her.