Humans can be really, really silly.

Who, us?

bonny, tell me how to stop Sass from waking me up at 5 a.m. by licking my face? Ignoring her leads to pawing at me. For 30 minutes. She's looking for breakfast, not to go out, and she learned to think she should eat that early when I had morning sickness and was up to nibble on crackers, and then when I was up because I was too uncomfortable to sleep in. So, it's all my fault. Oops.

Sparky, tell Sass I'm going to come and shake my very authoritative finger at her. Bad Sass. No biscuit. Literally!

You just described the perfect storm of how bad habits get started. One of my people clients couldn't figure out how 'all of a sudden' her dog started getting up at 4, demanding food. Turns out, the hubby couldn't sleep and 'thought he looked hungry'. ::facepalm::

Unless you restrict her range, so that she can't get to you in the night, then you just have to be ZEN. The asscaps here acknowledge the seeming impossibility of this suggestion.

The behavior will continue as long as it is rewarded. Unfortunately, when you are half asleep, it's pretty hard to distract and redirect, which is the optimal technique.

I was about to suggest a redirect, but honestly, I don't see how that will get you any where. If you can stay awake long enough, reward in a very low, quiet voice (so as to avoid spinning up her energy) when she lies down and is calm.

If you can stay awake long enough

Did I mention that I get up during the week at 5:30 a.m.? So, since she can nag me for 30 minutes, she does seem to get rewarded in the end. Sort of like barking at the mailman, who always goes away!

kitchen √
Dining Room √
Living Room √
Laundry (almost √)
Bedroom (there is a door for a reason)

Now for the bathroom, and food shopping, and make a lasagna. Oh procrastination. Why do you always mock me?

I myself have never met a viscous Chihuahua

It's really hard to get viscous Chihuahua off your shoes.

I myself have never met a viscous Chihuahua

My aunt and uncle had a Chihuahua that, while not thick and sticky, was indeed mean as hell and would attack with abandon. I hated that little dog.

At KBD's. Have achieved Wendy's and a shower, though my spicy chicken sandwich sandwich had an inexplicable layer of cheese. KBD is playing Uno on his phone and randomly quoting "Motherlover." Bear Grylls is doing nasty shit on tv. There is a Frosty waiting for me in the fridge.

Life is good.

Did I mention that I get up during the week at 5:30 a.m.? So, since she can nag me for 30 minutes, she does seem to get rewarded in the end. Sort of like barking at the mailman, who always goes away!

Yeesh. Now, it all makes perfect sense.

Aversion therapy is possible...like putting a soda can half-filled with dried beans or coins on the night stand and dropping it at her feet when she pokes you in bed. Sadly, this will teach her to be afraid of the bed, and might not last long as a deterrent. Plus, the sound might prick your nervous system enough that you can't get back to sleep anyway. Everybody loses.

I guess the best plan would be to limit her access to you until she has time to forget the 5am habit.

In any case, I feel for you!

It's stuff like this that makes me beyond grateful that Bartleby loves his crate. He never makes noise unless it is an emergency.

Last week, he ate wax paper in the park. A couple of nights ago, I heard faint murmurs that, in my sleep, I was not associating with him. When it got too much for him, he tapped on the crate door just loud enough to rouse me. Such a polite boy. Given how he turned inside out to get rid of the offending material in the yard, I'd have been yelling obscenities at the top of my guts. "Let me out woman! The dam's about to blow!!"

I just got back from DC VegFest. I think I have eaten all the vegan junk food in the world. (First I had a donut, because I'd skipped breakfast, and donuts are breakfasty, right? Then I saw a booth selling pizza made with a kind of vegan cheese I'd been wanting to try, so I got a slice of that. Then, a little while later, it was lunch time, so I got some mixed vegetable curry from the Indian restaurant booth. And after lunch ought to be dessert, so I got a carrot cake cupcake. I think the cupcake was the one thing too many, because now my stomach hurts.)

I also listened to a speech by a vegan body-building champion, and pet some cute dogs, and bought a book. And while I was there, my mom called, wanting to know the ingredients for a recipe that I'm going to make for Rosh Hashanah, so that she could have my dad go do the grocery shopping. I couldn't remember exactly what was needed, but then I remembered that the recipe was in a vegan cookbook, and I was at a vegan festival that had at least four booths selling books, so I found one selling the book the had the recipe I needed, looked it up, and called Mom back to tell her what was needed.

And now, I think I will nap. And contemplate a salad for dinner to counteract all this grease and sugar.

So, it seems there was a protest today: [link] I was just a few blocks away, and didn't notice anything.