Dear Joe, my Miracleman, light of my life, best of lovers, giant among men. I, Aims, hereby declare that I shall devote my very life to satisfying your every whim, your most fleeting of desires, to granting every wish you may have.
You know that hot girl at the bar? I will bring her home and together we shall quench your carnal appetites. Seriously, I'll go get her. For realsies.
Lasagna every night? It shall be done, o love, o angel, o He of the Mighty...well, you know.
You shall ne'er have to wash another dish, sweep another floor, launder another piece of clothing ever. Ever ever. I'm talking forever. Like, eternity and junk.
We shall name all our pets after comic book heroes. The kids too. Let's change the Punk's name to "Princess Diana of Themyscira McVay Conat." Seriously, I have the paperwork right here.
You can watch whatever you want to watch whenever you want to watch it with no complaints from me. I won't be watching TV anyway...I'll be gazing adoringly at you, panting to leap up and fetch you a beer any time you seem even vaguely thirsty. While wearing lingerie. You know, that one? Yeah. That one. Yeah.
In conclusion, you shall never have to lift a finger...all will be done by me. Even that thing with my tongue.
In all sincerity and truthfulness,
Aims.