My advice, sj, would be to mention something you're reading or a hobby that you and TCG have...

But it is so much easier to just avoid people.

Well, you could do that, of course. But don't feel like you have to.

I'm sorry. I'm being very meme again, and I really am trying to stop that.

I don't know why I am even considering it because it almost always ends with me being an anxious mess, but I guess I am just really sick of feeling useless.

1. Not useless.

2. Remember, you've got lots of help available here.

"I'm lucky enough to be a woman of leisure"

I do use that, or variants, but repeating it 20 times at the same cocktail party gets old very fast.

Believe me, I feel your pain. I've been so tempted to make up some bullshit title so many times, you have no idea. But for a fiction writer, I'm *such* a terrible liar. I wrote fanfic today...you'll probably never out-useless me. But I knocked someone up. Which "makes me feel all manly"

But Erika, you can give the exact same answers my husband does.

Him: I'm a writer.
Inquiring Person at Party: Oh, what have you written?
Him: I write for {name of online publications you haven't heard of and don't care about}.
IPaP: Oh.

Answering the question of what I do tends to engender a couple of different responses. Generally, when I answer writer, I get a quizzical glance and maybe a "write what?" When I clarify books, it tends to graduate to the pitying glance coupled with a "no, really, what do you do for real?" When I emphasize that writing is my job and my only job, the counter is usually, "Oh, couldn't get a real job, huh?" If I haven't walked away in disgust by that point, I gently mention that I have published books, it then changes to a wide-eyed expression with a "Oh, you mean real books!"

Ten'll get you twenty that the next words out of their mouths will be some variation on "I could write a book too if I only had the time," (nice implication there, pal) or "Hey, I've got a great idea for a book. I can tell it to you, you can write it, and we can split the royalties fifty-fifty."

Hey, I've got a great idea for a book. I can tell it to you, you can write it, and we can split the royalties fifty-fifty."

You should say, "Lemme guess - is it about an author who meets an idiot at a party?"

I have started working on a novel, but it isn't going well enough for me to tell people that is what I am doing at the moment. The ideas in my head seem great, but the only things I can get down on paper are crap.