As long as we're on the subject, I have to recommend an ASTONISHINGLY good podcast called My History Can Beat Up Your Politics, which offers refreshingly apolitical historical analysis of current issues. (The most recent one being healthcare, which is what reminded me of it.) Highly recommend to anyone interested in that sort of thing.

You're right, actually.

Aiee, I am having some trouble with our present houseguest. Not with him personally--he's a nice guy who has been a friend of DH for 20 years and is an artist who is smart and kind. He is in town for a mutual friend's 50th birthday party. The hard part is that he's an alcoholic. Not only did he stop to buy two large bottles of Cuervo on the way home from the airport, he must have drunk six or seven three-finger glasses of it, as well as 4 or 5 beers, all in a space of four hours. My whole family is in recovery and this is a HUGE hot button for me. He has that sour alcohol smell to his skin that makes me recoil so it's hard to be close to him. Makes me so sad and it makes my husband sad, too. But he's a grown man and our guest and I know there have been intervention-type things before, so I don't want this weekend to turn into a lecture. He knows his problem and right now is not doing anything about it.

It's just so sad and a terrible waste and it freaks me out and brings up all those old feelings. I just have to make it to Sunday.

You're right, actually. A significant portion of the currently uninsured are young, healthy people who don't think they need health insurance.

Yes, exactly. It's a big reason why US health care is in such a parlous state. (Economically, this particular variety of market failure is called adverse selection.)

But he's a grown man and our guest and I know there have been intervention-type things before, so I don't want this weekend to turn into a lecture.

It doesn't have to be. Just say "my family is in recovery and I really don't like to be around a lot of alcohol. If you're going to be our houseguest, please limit your drinking to outside of the house" Anyone with an ounce of respect for your or your husband will comply, even if they think that you're being overly sensitive (which you're not)

If it's legal, so be it.

Huge red flag. Sometimes the real scandal is what's legal.

That's rough, Scrappy. I'm sorry you're in that situation.

I hate that gaming the system bs omnis describes.

I hate that gaming the system bs omnis describes.

Yeah.

You know, you could tell her that our capitalistic, free-market system depends on people having access to information in order to best decide what to buy, invest in, etc. But what she wants is for this information (which can save people money) to be kept secret, so only a few elite people can take advantage of it.

I suppose that could be phrased better. But now I'm wondering if she's an Ayn Rand fan. But that's not as bad as being an Ann Coulter fan, right?

Ugh, Scrappy. I'm so sorry for how rough and tense it must be, especially since he's obviously a longtime friend and a dear man.

omnis, everyone's already been full of wisdom (though I have to say, as a regular churchgoer who would consider you totally snoggable if I were single, your yellow flag #1 made me sigh regretfully). The throwing-a-test-for-a-bribe thing, especially retold with no remorse, and especially with the gaming the housing system to poor folks' disadvantage story.

(And, as a regular churchgoer--she did/does that without a flicker of shame and teaches Sunday School? I... she... NO. Just, NO.)

I've dated people with different spiritual beliefs than me, and one person with very opposite politics, but in those cases (a) they all struck me as pretty thoughtful, ethical, decent people, and (b) we had numerous things we did agree on, and we both consciously chose to focus on those and to respect each other's choices and beliefs; once we'd identified the minefields, we mutually agreed not to pogo stick all the fuck over them. You're in a much better position than any of us to judge the likelihood of (a) and (b) with GGG, but from over here (a) is definitely looking iffy.

Ya, all our volunteers. Um. How to say. Cougar material. Ya, if I was to date them, it'd be a Cougar scenario. Um. no thanks. Maybe their daughters.

Think about it, really. They're theater lovers and volunteers, chances are that's how they raised their daughters. You could do far worse than to ingratiate yourself to a group of active volunteer moms.

IJS.

But now I'm wondering if she's an Ayn Rand fan

Church-going Ayn Rand fans confuse me. (As do pro-life ones.)

I mean, did they even *read* a word she wrote??? Outside of Atlas Shrugged?

Signed, former Randian, recovering Objectivist, blah blah blah, read it all cakes.