I'm literally not used to not being smacked down when I fuck up. I'm still braced for the blow. How fucking sad of a commentary on my life (mostly childhood) is THAT?

Aw, Tep! You're not alone. I'm glad for you that you found someone who is challenging the childhood demons- I'm rooting for him to win out over them!

4:30 is usually my awake time too, but I actually got half decent sleep last night (nsm the night before though.)

Yes, I am the Bluebird of Happiness Chicken of Doom this morning. Tra la la.

Shouldn't that be "Cluck luck luck?"

Le boq boq boq.

I'm literally not used to not being smacked down when I fuck up. I'm still braced for the blow. How fucking sad of a commentary on my life (mostly childhood) is THAT?

Aw, Tep! You're not alone. I'm glad for you that you found someone who is challenging the childhood demons- I'm rooting for him to win out over them!

It's so fucked up, because *my* first instinct when something goes amiss (like a full travel mug of coffee ending up all over the kitchen) is to think -- and generally *say* -- "Oh, GOD DAMN IT!!!" Which is frustration, sure, but also inappropriate, *especially* if someone else dumped the coffee.

And he never does that. NEVER. I can't always handle it. I know how to handle being yelled at.

(Plus, his being functional only highlights how operatically dysfunctional I still am, which makes me sad and frustrated. I'm trying, though, and I think I'm slowly getting better. NOTHING will teach you appropriate responses like living with someone with ADD. Holy fucking shit.)

(Plus, his being functional only highlights how operatically dysfunctional I still am, which makes me sad and frustrated. I'm trying, though, and I think I'm slowly getting better.

I'm sure he has his own issues of dysfunction- we all do. They are just different than yours. Also, awareness and working on your stuff is awesome, and the only thing that you can do. You can't change how you were raised- but trying to calibrate to something better *is*, and you'd be surprised how often people *don't* do it. Or even know to do it!

Huh, so this morning I was up at 5:30 with insomnia. And yesterday I was telling my analyst how afraid I was of fucking things up, and how he would then smack me down for it.

There's some weird convergence going on.

I'm sure he has his own issues of dysfunction- we all do.

Everyone's dysfunctional
in their own way.

Le boq boq boq.

Tiny berets for everyone!

Huh, so this morning I was up at 5:30 with insomnia. And yesterday I was telling my analyst how afraid I was of fucking things up, and how he would then smack me down for it.

There's some weird convergence going on.

Let's make a deal: if you share my brain, you can only bring the funny and the cool, and *I* will bring my astonishing knowledge of the semi-colon. No dysfunction. We got enough.

My morning, let me show you it:

A) Alarm did not go off. Woke up at 10 after 7 when Emeline came up stairs to tell us that the Little Einsteins were here and homeless and could they please live with us.

B) I'm in the shower while Emeline was slyly replaced with a cranky velociraptor by some jokester. I can hear her screaming because she can not wear the swing top without leggings. Poor Joe.

C) I get out of the shower and take away all of Em's dress up dresses, her toys, and take away her tv priveleges for tonight.

D) Since Em has missed the bus and I'm supposed to be at work by 8, we all shoot out of the house quickly. I take off in the minivan, Joe and Em in the station wagon.

E) Not even 1 mile from our house, I whip past a cop, not paying attention to my speed.

F) He pulls me over. 46 in a 25. Insurance isn't in the car.

G) I receive my first ticket in almost 10 years. Luckily, it's a warning on the speed (no charge) and a fix-it on the insurance.

H) My back is out.

I am exhausted already and it's not even 10am.

I am exhausted already and it's not even 10am.

But at least you weren't up at 4:30