Aw, Taylor just offered me some of her birthday cake. She's 14!!!!

Here is my favorite buying-a-house story: a professor of mine in college was looking for a place in a marginal/up-and-coming neighborhood, so he went by the place at different times of day, different days, etc., before he bought. But he never went by after midnight, which was apparently when the local drug business really took off. Somehow, he never had any problems in the neighborhood, and we're talking about a slight, fairly nerdy guy. But he was also a Latino guy with a fancy sportscar. He figured the neighbors thought he was some drug kingpin.

provide boxes and labels - one color label for each person or some scheme like that (we had numbers - every single person in the move had a number)

Yes, this. Get a million stickers with a number identifying the individual/office, and sticker them on multiple sides. I've never coordinated an office move, but this is how my old work replaced the carpets in our offices in 48 hours.

My stomach cramps slightly subsided, so I'm no longer convinced I'll be the first person to pass a kidney stone during the California bar. I have Bar Cancer.

We could have a whole thread devoted to Crazy Things Republican State Senators Have Said. Like this:

Schultheis: HIV testing for pregnant moms rewards ‘sexual promiscuity’

Democrats were outraged Wednesday morning when Republican state Sen. Dave Schultheis said he planned to vote against a bill to require HIV tests for pregnant women because the disease “stems from sexual promiscuity” and he didn’t think the Legislature should “remove the negative consequences that take place from poor behavior and unacceptable behavior.” The Colorado Springs lawmaker then proceeded to cast the lone vote against SB 179, which passed 32-1 and moves on to the House.

Stroll with me, down Memory Lane....

Jurassic Web

It's 1996, and you're bored. What do you do? If you're one of the lucky people with an AOL account, you probably do the same thing you'd do in 2009: Go online. Crank up your modem, wait 20 seconds as you log in, and there you are—"Welcome." You check your mail, then spend a few minutes chatting with your AOL buddies about which of you has the funniest screen name (you win, pimpodayear94).

Then you load up Internet Explorer, AOL's default Web browser. Now what? There's no YouTube, Digg, Huffington Post, or Gawker. There's no Google, Twitter, Facebook, or Wikipedia. A few newspapers and magazines have begun to put their articles online—you can visit the New York Times or Time—and there are a handful of new Web-only publications, including Feed, HotWired, Salon, Suck, Urban Desires, Word, and, launched in June, Slate. But these sites aren't very big, and they don't hold your interest for long. People still refer to the new medium by its full name—the World Wide Web—and although you sometimes find interesting stuff here, you're constantly struck by how little there is to do. You rarely linger on the Web; your computer takes about 30 seconds to load each page, and, hey, you're paying for the Internet by the hour. Plus, you're tying up the phone line. Ten minutes after you log in, you shut down your modem. You've got other things to do—after all, a new episode of Seinfeld is on.

...

We all know that the Internet has changed radically since the '90s, but there's something dizzying about going back to look at how people spent their time 13 years ago. Sifting through old Web pages today is a bit like playing video games from the 1970s; the fun is in considering how awesome people thought they were, despite all that was missing. In 1996, just 20 million American adults had access to the Internet, about as many as subscribe to satellite radio today. The dot-com boom had already begun on Wall Street—Netscape went public in 1995—but what's striking about the old Web is how unsure everyone seemed to be about what the new medium was for. Small innovations drove us wild: Look at those animated dancing cats! Hey, you can get the weather right from your computer! In an article ranking the best sites of '96, Time gushed that Amazon.com let you search for books "by author, subject or title" and "read reviews written by other Amazon readers and even write your own." Whoopee. The very fact that Time had to publish a list of top sites suggests lots of people were mystified by the Web. What was this place? What should you do here? Time recommended that in addition to buying books from Amazon, "cybernauts" should read Salon, search for recipes on Epicurious, visit the Library of Congress, and play the Kevin Bacon game.

I used to get my email through my grandfather's AOL account (Nov-94/June-95). I'd download it all and then open and read it offline, compose and responses, connect again, and send them, because were were paying by the minute.

That's a hip grandpa.

I have Bar Cancer.

In what part of the body is the bar located?

Feel better msbelle.

I trying to find all the medical receipts to see if I am able to deduct them on my taxes. It is not going well at all! I have paper crap everywhere.

My grandfather is so hip he's had both replaced. When I was living with him he drove a Porsche with the license plate HUBRIS. At my step-grandmother's memorial service, their coke dealer chatted me up. They kept it in the freezer, wrapped in tin foil; it kept better that way.

He's kind of an asshole, actually. But still my grandfather.

My grandparents had Prodigy.