I'm sort of sad, though, that the mysteriousness of the maple syrup smell has been revealed. It's more interesting as a mystery than as a solvable problem.

ALSO I'm still looking for a perfume that smells like maple syrup. Maybe I should expand that to include fenugreek perfume?

Children's advice for our new president--Thanks and Have Fun Running the Country is a new book. Some letters from kids to Obama:

Dear President Obama, The first thing you need to do is put your stuff in the White House. Be careful, Abraham Lincoln haunts one of the bedrooms. Look around the White House. Meet with your helpers. Get a puppy. Talk to America. Make a speech. Sincerely, Matthew Wong, age 8, Chicago

Dear Mr. Obama, As president, I would move into the White House and get some people to help me with my homework. I would fill the White House with chocolate and gravy (but not together) and mashed potatoes or maybe fill it with root beer. I'd drive through the White House on a boat. We'd make the floor out of mashed potatoes and the house would be filled with mashed potatoes. ... I'd have a couch made out of pudding that you could eat with a giant spoon. And I'd have a pizza carpet. After we'd eaten all of our furniture, we'd buy real furniture. Amir Abdelhadi, age 6 (as dictated to Katie McCaughan), Chicago

Dear President Obama: You are awesome!!! Some things you should do are: 1. Stop the use of oil in cars. 2. Clean up the ocean. 3. Help animals that are endangered. 4. Help immigrants get better jobs. 5. Give money to schools. 6. Fire the governor of California. Love, Hilda Herrera, age 12, San Francisco

Philanthropist...or budding super-villain in disguise?

I know, I'm wondering what all those attendees were thinking before he said, "Just kidding!" A nervous bodyguard could be forgiven for thinking "This man just tried to kill my boss!"

I would fill the White House with chocolate and gravy (but not together) and mashed potatoes or maybe fill it with root beer. I'd drive through the White House on a boat. We'd make the floor out of mashed potatoes and the house would be filled with mashed potatoes. ... I'd have a couch made out of pudding that you could eat with a giant spoon. And I'd have a pizza carpet. After we'd eaten all of our furniture, we'd buy real furniture.

I LOVE THIS KID

I LOVE THIS KID

He's got a serious jones for mashed potatoes. I like him.

Food on the floor is nasty, though!

ALSO I'm still looking for a perfume that smells like maple syrup. Maybe I should expand that to include fenugreek perfume?

Maybe just take a lot of fenugreek, so you smell like maple syrup?

OMG you guys, I just got the project that would not die out the door! The editor from hell had no more edits! It's done!

My work nemesis is annoying me so much that I want to tape record her just so other people can hear and back up my annoyedness. Seriously, she DOES NOT SHUT UP with the running commentary about everything she is doing.

Jesse - perhaps you'd like to come over and help me out with the invoices from hell. They go back 3 months with this vendor, they require sign off from 6 different units in the company, and an error (by my predecessor) was discovered so the costs to each unit have changed slightly since I originally distributed them for approval. I have to send out the old docs showing cost breakdowns and the new ones today. I am sure no one will be confused.

Ha ha ha! Yeah, no thanks. Good luck w/that.

We've posted about this guy before - for some reason I'm not surprised he's in trouble....

'Vampire' arrested for threatening teenage 'slayer'

John Alfred Sharkey, who calls himself the "The Impaler," ran as the Vampyres, Witches and Pagans party candidate for Minnesota governor in 2006.

The 16-year-old girl's complaint claims the pair struck up a friendship in 2007 after she wrote a message of support on his MySpace page. She told police they began dating online, and the threats began when she tried to break off the relationship, according to the Post-Bulleting newspaper.

She told police that "in a desperate attempt" to get him to leave her alone, she had e-mailed him that she was a member of an elite vampire hunter society and that continuing their relationship would put him in danger. Her father told police he talked to Mr Sharkey, 44, but he continued to call the girl and write letters to her parents.

He was charged with felony harassment and two misdemeanors: coercion with a threat to inflict bodily harm and coercion with a threat to expose a secret or disgrace. He is in jail after being unable to raise bail.

Rick Smith, his lawyer, has asked that the charges be dismissed for lack of probable cause.

He was supposed to appear in court in August, but got a delay by saying he had been hurt in a pro wrestling match. He then missed a September hearing and a warrant was issued.

The complaint says Mr Sharkey told a Rochester police sergeant who called him last August that he was a vampire "who needs to drink human blood for strength." It says he referred to the girl as his wife and princess. Last August he also wrote a letter threatening to sue the county attorney's office for wrongful and vindictive prosecution.