May I exploit the hivemind again in asking to go over this letter for me?
To the Committee for Ph.D. Research Students
Attached to this letter please find a revised version of my Ph.D. dissertation "Dynamics of Data Traffic in Communication Networks", supervised by Prof. S. Havlin from the Physics department.
I am grateful that all the three referees have found the dissertation interesting and appropriate for a Ph.D. degree.
Following are responsea to the points raised by the referees:
The dissertation was thoroughly proofread, and both typographical as well as grammar errors were corrected.
The references were carefully combed, and a couple which had not been properly referenced were re-organized to reflect their respective topics.
Several of the figures' captions (such as figures 4.9- 4.18, 4.22 and 4.23) were broaden, in order to better express their meaning and connection to the surrounding text.
they are both opting to go to community college.
Why did they decide that? Boyfriends? Family?
That's crazy-making about the valedictorians.
Is it wrong that I pointed out to these kids that it was depressing?
Nilly:
I am grateful that all the three referees have found the dissertation interesting and appropriate for a Ph.D. degree.
Following are responsea responses to the points raised by the referees:
Several of the figures' captions (such as figures 4.9- 4.18, 4.22 and 4.23) were broaden, broadened in order to better express their meaning and connection to the surrounding text.
Tommy, in both cases family. Neither girl has a boyfriend (in one case not allowed). Neither are allowed to live away from home, apparently. In spite of the fact that both are or will be 18 before the fall.
It's cultural (Armenian and Latina respectively). The whole thing makes me irate!
Attached to this letter please find
Putting the "attached to this letter" first is an old and formal way of phrasing this. I don't know if that's appropriate for this letter, though.
I am grateful that all the three referees
I'd change that to "all three"
The references were carefully combed, and a couple which
Considering the formal tone of the rest of the letter, I'd replace "a couple" with "several."
But there are many Buffistas who can edit better than I.
Several of the figures' captions (such as figures 4.9- 4.18, 4.22 and 4.23) were broaden
Should be "broadened."
eta: I knew I'd be x-posty, as others are faster than
I am grateful that all the three referees have found the dissertation interesting and appropriate for a Ph.D. degree.
Following are responsea to the points raised by the referees:
The dissertation was thoroughly proofread, and both typographical as well as grammar errors were corrected.
Several of the figures' captions (such as figures 4.9- 4.18, 4.22 and 4.23) were broaden, in order to better express their meaning and connection to the surrounding text.
Hey, Nilly!
First section, I would remove the "the" from between all and three.
Second section, "responsea" needs an s instead of an a.
Third, for balance, I would make grammar "grammatical".
Fourth, broaden should be "broadened".
Thanks, Kat, tommy and Amy!
Spelling on almost-4am is difikult.
Jesse, I think it's lovely that you *want* (even if only theoretically) to work for a daycare you went to.
Kat, you know, there's a lot of talk here about how restrictive the parents in very orthodox families are, but quite a few of them are very far from the (frustrating) picture you face.
There's a reason I'm hiring people to do the serious work on my house: I dutifully measured the length of dryer hose I needed, went out and got...the wrong kind, just a bit too short. Except I measured again, and it should be just right, it just isn't. I swear. I'm getting very familiar with the returns desks.
