Emmett and I have braved the day (very pretty in SF). We walked (well, he took his scooter) down to Haight Street, poked around at Booksmith, and got burritos for lunch at Zona Rosa.
At the bookstore, Emmett contentedly huddled in a corner with one of the Diary of a Wimpy Kid books, while I flipped through Hot Chicks with Douchebags which catalogued the nine identifying traits of douchebags and then did a Field Guide type rundown on all their regional variants.
I had been wondering what were the signal style cliches of the Oughties and here I had a full compendium!
Identifying Traits of Douchebags:
1. Flipped collar.
2. Spikey, gelled up hair. You know - like Angel or the cast of Friends. Bonus points of horribleness for either the fauxhawk or frosted tips.
3. Shiny foreheads. (From the hair product melting down onto their greasy faces.)
4. Jesus bling. Has to be obvious and over the top.
5. Shirtlessness.
6. Douche-y aura. This has something to do with entitlement and Axe body spray.
7. Douche-face. That kind of sneering, kissy lips, tongue lick, obnoxious face for the camera.
8. Throwing hand signs.
9. Ten degree hat tilt.
Any sort of general Federline-ness also qualifies.
Of the specific types I recall Frat Bags, Tat Bags, Euro Bags, Yuppie Bags and Abracabs (lifting the shirt to show off their six-pack abs).
From the book description:
Greasy foreheads. Spiky frosted hair. Oiled-up faces dripping with Tag Body Shot spray. Armani Exchange T-shirts and rank cologne wafting off their backs like fetid pollen clouds as they pump their fists and attempt to grind into any hotties nearby. Young beauties oblivious to the hulking monstrosity clutching at their butts like snapping turtles on Red Bull.
From sea to douchey sea, ours is a culture plagued by this festering blight. By the dark forces of über-douchebaggery.
Oh yeah, I forgot about Tag Body Shot and fake tans.
The blog from which the book derives is instructive.
Me, I LOVE hearing about Sarameg's house and The Zmayhem Easter morn and Liese's scary water and Kat's totally deserved toddler smackdown and all the news shared here.
Indeed.
Bobby and I went next door to eat good stuff with the neighbors. Full now. Feet up ready to veg out with a chick flick now.
I had my feet up and then I got restless. In the past hour and a half I've swept off the balcony, planted two pots full of pansies and made banana bread. My feet are back up, but I'll be getting up again in an hour or so to take the bread out of the oven and make dinner. I think it's the weather. After having sloth inducing wet and/or dreary weather for what felt like ages, it finally got up to right around 60, today. I've got windows and sliding doors open to take advantage. It's hard to sit still when it's so nice.
DH mowed the lawn and I did some weeding, then we sat out on the porch for quite a while enjoying the day, letting the dog loll on the grass, observing some avian behavior. Pretty darn nice, but I forgot to have lunch 'til just now.
-t! I am so sorry I bailed yesterday. It was probably for the best though, since I took an unexpected nap yesterday at just the time you would have been calling.
Me, I LOVE hearing about Sarameg's house and The Zmayhem Easter morn and Liese's scary water and Kat's totally deserved toddler smackdown and all the news shared here.
I would totally subscribe to this magazine!
ME TOO. Especially if it included kid pics.
Sorry for the badness, Scrappy and Juliebird.
Perkins! I would have felt bad interrupting an unexpected nap and I had a very pleasant evening at home, as it turned out, so no worries on changing the plan. Someday I will lure you out to the Vacaville outlets...
Someday I will lure you out to the Vacaville outlets...
I don't know. Me, shopping? Kind of a stretch.
Vacaville isn't by any chance on the way from LA to Santa Barbara, is it? I've been to some outlets on that route...
No, it's on the way from San Francisco to Sacramento, though.
