ION, I somehow managed to get soup on my glasses.

Back to what Maddow was talking about: White House Asked Howard To Stay In Blair House To Give ‘Some Plausible Reason’ For Refusing Obama

And guess which state has the fastest growth in teen pregnancy. Hint: "Alaska."

Is that counting Bristol once or twice?

(Sorry, sorry -- that's just may favorite conspiracy theory EVAH.)

And guess which state has the fastest growth in teen pregnancy. Hint: "Alaska."

Frankly, I'm surprised AK hasn't been topping the charts for decades.

Awesome headline, but the article adds more humorous details: Police seek blow-up doll sex bandit

SYDNEY (Reuters) - An Australian man broke into three adult shops, had sex with blow up dolls named "Jungle Jane" and then dumped his plastic conquests in a nearby alley, local media reported Wednesday.

"It's totally bizarre. It's a real concern that someone like that is out on the street," said one of the owners of the adult sex shops in Cairns in northern Queensland state.

"He has been taking the dolls out the back and blowing them up and using the dolls and leaving them in the alley," the owner, who gave the name of Vogue, told the Cairns Post newspaper.

Police told the Cairns Post that scientific officers had taken DNA samples, fingerprints and pictures of the crime scene.

I wanna see the crime-scene pictures! I wonder, was the evidence-gathering a solemn affair? Were the investigators fighting back chuckles? Or were they not fighting back the laughs?

The special cover is pretty awesome, even though the interior art is eyebleeding.

Clearly, the lesson here is that teens in large rural states have no other way to fill their time than by having unprotected sex.

Hustler publisher Larry Flynt

Larry Flynt is (or was) suing his nephew because apparently the nephew is making sub-standard porn and ruining the Flynt name.

No, really.

Clearly, the lesson here is that teens in large rural states have no other way to fill their time than by having unprotected sex.

Yes. Especially when they've been taught that condoms are not effective.

Abstinence education can work just fine, we just need to tweak the program. First, remove all sexual references from TV, Music, Videogames, Books, etc... so teenagers think about sex less. Second, require concealing school uniforms and segregate classes by gender. Third, strict curfew laws prohibiting teenagers from going out unaccompanied after dark, well to not get too draconian we can just make it teenage girls. Forth, make sure that any teenagers who somehow get pregnant wear badges at all times to discourage sexual activity through public shame.

There we go, four simple steps toward a better America without having to lower our moral standards.

I think if you want Obama to look like Obama you probably need an artist who can make people look like human beings. Unless Spider-Man is now set in an AU where people's jaws are attached differently and we have double-joined wrists.