I don't remember which year it was, but one roomie was, well, a slut who didn't seem to understand that happily acknowledging that she'd sleep with just about anybody did not mesh well with plastering the campus with "Hi, I'm starting a project on X! Please call me at Y!" We had to take the phone off the hook every night because of all the obscene phone calls. I was bored on Saturday night and talked to one obscene phone caller for three hours. He wasn't that obscene, just trying to get a girl to come to his apartment.
I drew the line one night when I came home one night to find her and guy-of-the-day at it in her bed. Our dorm rooms were rooms. 12x12 with two beds and desks. I yelled, they stopped, he was too drunk to figure out how to leave, I waited two hours, then muttered and went to bed. A few minutes later I wake up to someone nudging my arm. It's Guy-of-the-day. "She's asleep," he whispers. I stare at him in disbelief: "So???" "Can I get in there with you?" "No!!" He slunk back to her bed.
It could have been a whole lot worse, I know, if he hasn't taken no for an answer etc., but I think the righteous outrage combined with all the beer clued him in to his position.
The next morning he was gone and I asked her why she'd brought him back to the dorm. "I thought we were in a motel." "Does this look like a motel?" "Well, yeah." "Do you even know his name?" "Um . . ."
She'd bring these guys over before heading off to somewhere else. To their credit, more than half of them got a look at me glaring at her and looked apologetic. She kept trying to hit on my boyfriend, but I don't think he was willing to lay a finger on her without a hazmat suit. She didn't believe in birth control because she was a good Catholic, and every month was an adventure. One guy she brought over tried to tell her she'd be very pretty if she toned down the makeup and clothes, and he compared me favorably to her. She hustled him out of there and I never saw him again.
A few minutes later I wake up to someone nudging my arm. It's Guy-of-the-day. "She's asleep," he whispers. I stare at him in disbelief: "So???" "Can I get in there with you?" "No!!" He slunk back to her bed.
!!!
Damn. I know beer makes ya stupid, but I don't think it explains this level of stupidity....
She didn't believe in birth control because she was a good Catholic, and every month was an adventure
You'd think that adding a "Oh, and I used birth control" to the end of her confession wouldn't be all that bad. Sort of like confessing you didn't refill the tank after totaling your friend's car.
You'd think that adding a "Oh, and I used birth control" to the end of her confession would be all that bad.
This was my sister's sophomore year roommate, only she was an Orthodox Jew who would have sex with her boyfriend and then immediately schedule a mikvah. (She also left her cell phone on auto-answer on the Sabbath so she could recieve calls without *technically* turning anything on. Her definition of "observant" was, shall we say, flexible.)
Wow, Jessica. I think I'm more orthodox than your sister's sophomore year roommate.
I had to google mikvah. From wikipedia:
Its main uses nowadays are:
* by Jewish women to achieve ritual purity after menstruation or childbirth
* by Jewish men to achieve ritual purity (see details below)
* as part of a traditional procedure for conversion to Judaism
* for utensils used for food.
Mikvah
Heh.
by Jewish women to achieve ritual purity after menstruation or childbirth
for utensils used for food
....but not at the same time.
I have realized that I always know when my coworker is just past her period, because she comes to work without nail polish on Monday -- she goes to the mikvah on Sunday, I guess, and there's no nail polish in the mikvah!
Her roommate kept having sex with her boyfriend while my friend was in the room.
That happened to me once. This roommate was named Gary, his girlfriend was Carrie, and the story works better if you say the names in his very heavy Lawn Guyland accent.
Anyway, Gary and Carrie had the habit of hanging out in the dorm room. One evening, while I was lounging on the bed reading, I noticed that the rest of the room was quite dark. I looked around, and Gary and Carrie were on Gary's bed. Both down to their underwear and clearly not about to stop there.
With as much nonchalance as I could manage, I said I was heading downstairs (to the vending machine) to get a Coke. Without missing a beat, Gary said, "Can you bring me back a Sprite?"
I decided to take the scenic route to the vending machine and got back to the room 45 minutes later. By then, they'd finished.
