Also, Suzi, that's wonderful news! I bet the recognition of his ADHD is helping, too. Go CJ! It's amazing what a difference that made for me.

Sorry if I was too blunt.

No, not at all! You answered exactly the question I was asking, and that's why I asked it. As I say, I do try to let parents know that I don't blame them and I know that there's only so much they can do. Besides, I only have to deal with the kids' behavior one, maybe two hours per day for one, maybe two years -- you have them ALL THE TIME. And they're ALWAYS your responsibility (a terrifying notion).

Anyway, you weren't too blunt, and your answer was exactly what I was suspecting.

I love parent-teacher conferences, but admit to feeling a bit defensive in them. However, I wand to make it clear that that is TOTALLY my issue, and not the way the teacher has ever put things. Ever.

Especially at the pre-school level, it has helped us look at behaviors of Emeline's that need to be changed/altered/kept an eye on so that later on, she can be one of the better students. My feeling is, 2/3 of the people responsible for my child's education live in my house. How unfair is it to lay 100% of the blame on 33% of the equation? (Like the math metaphor? I'm growing as a person.)

As teachers, do you guys find that it's usually the parents you don't *need* to see that show up and the parents who you really do need to communicate don't bother? It's one thing that frustrates my sister to no end during her conference times.

I bet the recognition of his ADHD is helping, too.

Yes, I agree. Between starting with a clean slate, having the ADHD meds, and an extra year of elementary school (6th grade is Middle School in California) all worked together to help him be in a better place academically.

On another "proud mama" note, the language arts teacher had passed out entry forms for a state-wide poetry contest. Their featured style is kaiku, but they are accepting all poems up to 80 words long.

A while back CJ wrote a very interesting poem about Death which I had posted in my LJ. Well that poem was 147 words long. Instead of writing something new, he modified his original and is so excited about submitting this to the contest. The deadline isn't until March, but he turned in his application today.

As teachers, do you guys find that it's usually the parents you don't *need* to see that show up and the parents who you really do need to communicate don't bother?

Um, YESSOYESABSOLUTELYYES. Pretty much. There are always a couple of outliers.

I think I was a kid who needed her parents to go but I'm not sure the conferences helped. I don't know- perhaps without them I would have been an even worse student.

We always go to conferences, Emily, if that helps. With Jake, it was always the uncomfortable "not living up to potential" and "restless in class/unprepared/" etc., and we had a bunch of good teachers with ideas about how to help at home (not that it worked much, with Jake). With Ben and so far with Sara, it hasn't been necessary in a "what do we need to change" way, but I've always thought it was important to check in and get to know the people teaching your kids. Plus, it's nice to hear good things!

I think that is part of what I don't understand about parents who DON'T make an effort to meet teachers, whether at a parent conference, back-to-school night, or whatever. Teachers are a tremendous influence on our children, both in potentially positive and negative ways. Without knowing the teachers, it is difficult as a parent to know how to help your child frame that influence.

CJ had a horrible teacher in 4th grade. The man would make very disparraging remarks about the kids in front of them. Meeting with him helped me teach CJ that while he needs to respect his teacher and learn as much as he can from him, he doesn't have to listen to every word he said. I was also able to plant the seed about how we will all, at one time or another, end up having teachers/bosses who we don't like, but we still have to find a way to work with them until circumstances change.

My 2 cents. Or maybe by now I'm up to a couple of dollars.

It is so freaking hot in my office! Ugh.

I'll trade you. I am sitting here in a sweater, scarf and a blanket over my legs. I can't eork when it's 65 degrees inside! This is what I get for being in the office on the same AC circuit as the server room. The vents in my office are closed, but freezing air still kinds sneaks in. I am going to bring in plastic and seal the vent off, or I will either freeze to death or complain so much someone will murder me.