Aw Kristin!

My Father had a double bypass without telling us until several days later. The phrase "could have died on the table" was part of the conversation.

Once the initial CONSIDERABLE shock passed it was easier to deal with his terrified deep-seated denial/appalling attempt at "protecting" us.

WTF Kristin's dad?

Yeah, sorry to hear that Kristin. My mum pulled exactly the same trick with me just this last month. Her's was bowel cancer.

I just accepted that I was glad she was still around and moved on. It may be tough, but I suggest you do the same.

What Pete said. I didn't tell my family about the breast cancer until right before my surgery, and my mother is still pissed. I understand why, but I simply could not deal with her worry and my own. It's such a hard thing to deal with that each person has to find his own way. Telling someone you love about it is horribly difficult.

Oh, Erin. I'm sorry your girly parts have turned on you so.

One day, many years ago, I flat out told my mother that if she ever suspected/found out she was seriously ill, I would want to know immediately or I would be extremely pissed. She then told me that my timing was eerie, because she'd just found a lump and was going to have it biopsied.

She had been planning not to tell me, giving the usual "didn't want you to worry" excuse. I pointed out that I would know that something was up, because I can always tell if she is worried about something, and that my having to imagine or wonder what was up was a million times worse than knowing the truth.

Erin, I'm sorry that you're having to deal with all of this.

Aww, Erin. Those cysts should not have got the greenlight for a sequel!

Bah! Humbug!

It's such a hard thing to deal with that each person has to find his own way. Telling someone you love about it is horribly difficult.

Oh, hell yes to this. I needed to pull inward to deal with my cancer diagnosis/surgery - after surgery I was more able to deal with the rest of the world as it pertained to me - during chemo and radiation and such, but not before. I could post on LJ, but my four closest friends? I couldn't call them until a couple days before surgery. My mother kept the rest of my family up to date. It was weird and hard and I love and appreciate my peeps for being OK with my dealing how I needed to deal.

And on that topic - Erin, I had to have a hysterectomy + ovaries out at 38. I'd be happy to share anything that you'd find useful. I don't do HRT, though - it's contraindicated because of the uterine cancer.

I feel a little odd about posting a self-centered, glee-filled post given that other people are having a very bad day, but I only have a little over an hour left to bask in my fortieth birthday.

What with being hellishly busy the past couple of months, and with things falling this close to the holidays, I really didn't get around to planning a big bash or a lot of fuss. That can come later in the year. Anyhow, today I spent mostly with my mom, and having the kind of relaxed, stress-free day that was the best kind of celebration I could have envisioned. I treated myself to much-needed a day off from work.

My big gift was a splurge at Lush. I picked out several bath bombs, and upon hearing that it was my birthday, the store manager added one more bath bomb to the stash as a freebie. Then, a long, leisurely lunch at an excellent Italian restaurant, an afternoon spent cooking (bolognese sauce) and lounging by the fire with knitting, and then dinner with my mom and stepdad. I was able to touch base via phone with my dad a few times and make plans to meet up for dinner next weekend.

And now, I am home and relaxing with my cat, my knitting, and a generous whiskey and soda.

That sounds like a fabulous birthday-day, Anne! Sweet of the Lush manager to do that.

Sounds like a great birthday, Anne.