We've changed our NYE gathering to a NYD gathering because we are going to be slammed with snow all day. The up side of this is I can just rest a little this morning. My back has decided it absolutely hates me today.

I'm supposed to be at work until 1 today, but I'm having a really hard time coming up with a reason to stay that long. It's not like I can't play sudoku on Facebook from home...

Loved the discussion yesterday (that I couldn't participate in because for once I was actually WORKING!) about arguments and styles and all that jazz...

I am quite tired of being told I can't possibly be excited because I am not jumping up and down and waving my arms

This. Because sure, just cause sometimes I'm fun and laughing and whatever doesn't mean that every time something is good I'm going to be "WHEEE!". I had a semi-friend who cleans houses come over and do my house. And she was all upset that after cleaning it I wasn't like, jumping for joy. And I'm thinking, "yep, it's clean. Cool." I also had a personal trainer who wanted me to be all enthused, too. I was like "...about the fact that I'm working out?? WTF?"

Though granted, I was once told by someone else "...you wouldn't date B. because he's got too many emotions, I'll bet" and I had to admit that was true.

I'm skipping tons to get hairpats. I had a 4" fibroid removed yesterday. Still in hospital but doing alright (thank you morphine).

Ouch, Glam!! You poor thing, may the morphine be your good friend!! I hope this helps other things?

I have too much to do today before a party tonight (ACK! how can there possibly be a party at my house tonight? I am NOT ready for that!!)

“What if the question was not, why am I not the person I want to be, but rather, Why do I so seldom want to be the person I am?”

Word mcWord from Wordington on Word.

Farting~ma and pain relief to GC.

No rockets~ma to Shir and her environs.

Snuggles to all Bitches who want them.

So I'm trying to write this report which fills me with much anxiety. I've done everything BUT actually write the damn thing; graphs, outlines, rereading pertinent info, etc. My grand plan for the day was to go sit in a coffee shop and write, surrounded by people but isolated from the internet.

Damn work laptop wouldn't let me log on w/out the network. I don't know if I just couldn't remember the right password or what. So I wasted about an hour (had to go to 2 shops to find a table, get my coffee, etc) and the thing still isn't written.

Normally I would take this as a sign to eff off for the rest of the day, but I'm really trying to be a good employee and I really need to get this report done.

In conclusion, work sucks. Thanks for listening.

Hi meara!

I am conflict-averse to the extreme, having been raised by similarly averse parents. However, I cry easily. I've learned that I feel better if I announce that I may cry and let the other person know not to be alarmed by it. Then I can talk and sometimes even dodge the crying. Otherwise I choke on my tears.

KBD gets pissed, tells me why he's pissed, and then stops talking to me until he's over it (which generally only takes 20 min or so). This is super uncomfortable for me but I'm learning to deal.

Hi Smonster!! I hate when my well laid plans to Get Shit Done like that don't work out.

...like now. When I am futzing around the internet, and feeling weird due to my migraine meds (my computer screen keeps getting weirdly smaller and realllllly far away, yet I can still read the letters....and I keep feeling like I am floating above myself...and my fingers currently feel ENORMOUS and HEAVY). Rather than shopping, baking, cleaning my house, filling out my work timesheet, or doing any one of the other seventybillino things I need or want to do today...

Oh GC, I'm so sorry. Sleeping in the hospital is hard enough without also facing pain. I'm glad you're feeling better today, and I hope that the worst is over for you.

Sorry work is sucking, smonster. Good to see you , though!

Suzi, sorry to hear you also had a sleepless night. Hope your shoulder feels better soon.

Teppy, thank you. That's exactly it.

I've learned that I feel better if I announce that I may cry and let the other person know not to be alarmed by it.

I share this strategy. In addition to the 'thar she blows' early warning it offers, making the "This is how I feel and how I'm reacting to it" strategy helps me to avoid well-meant responses that can make things worse.

The one human interaction dynamic that I struggle with the most is having to take care of other people when a) they are ostensibly taking care of me or b) I need to take are of myself.

It's partly an occupational hazard, I know, but this has been a problem for most of my life.

I sent TCG to the market by himself. Any bets on how many times he calls me before he comes home? We're up to 4 phone calls so far.

Yay! I do get to go home today! Can't wait to shower and feel somewhat normal again.