Where is everyone? My belly is hurting and I need distraction.

hey, GC!!! um...look how cute I was at Christmas!

[link]

(okay, not THIS christmas)

Where is everyone? My belly is hurting and I need distraction

Um, I got tacklehugged at a Bouncing Souls show. That was distracting.

Puppies!

Chibi Lisa is adorable, as are the puppies. I just walked. Ouch.

Being a girl is hard!

Stop walking, silly.

Sit still, take drugs, wet your pants.

I have to walk. The nurse makes me.

THAT NURSE IS A BITCH!

(alright, leaving work now. someone pick up the spite for me, k?)

[furiously mearaing]

Joe and I learned in couples counseling that resentment is bred from unrealistic and unspoken expectations.

Absolutely. The trick is figuring out what the underlying need is and get it met, in whatever way is appropriate. Our cultural reliance on and simultaneious rejection of, mind-reading boggles the…well, mind. "Don't TELL me what I think!/Why don't you know how to make me happy!" Oy. Understandable, sure. Practical? Not so much.

I can't change their incompetence and hostility.

Nope, not even with hypnosis! And that awarenss is a huge step for a lot of people.

They think "I can make them nice!" Or they figure "My ass-hattery will trump their ass-hattery, and they will acknowledge me as Sovereign of Ass-Hats and stop competing for my crown!"

Connie, the perfection of this statement cannot be overstated. If it hasn’t been commed by the time I get to the end of this thread, rest assured, it WILL be.

if arguments between loved ones weren't full-out BLOW UPS, then clearly, there was No Love There, because if you really loved, if you really cared, there was drama.

This is amazingly prevalent across cultures. Even in the ones where overt/verbal outbursts aren’t respected.

I’m amazed by the idea that people are being accused of NOT being emotional enough in the workplace.

That’s a pretty far (and unfair) swing of the pendulum away from the ‘check your emotions at the door’ business model that prevailed post industrial revolution.

Meltdowns don't serve any useful purpose for me, and witnessing them upsets me more than I apparently am able to express.

It’s crazy how schizo we are in a culture where the socially accepted notion is that women are crazy. (out of control biology, don’tcha know) And yet, we disrespect women who don’t act out (she’s a cold fish, or trying to be a guy) and reward acting out behavior with sympathy whether it is appropriate or not.

I wish I knew better ways of dealing with drama-lovers in the work place.

Is reassignment an option, Andi? I'm only half kidding.

Jeesh, I really struggle with that behavior and it’s almost impossible to make someone who doesn’t want to shift see the error of their ways.

Some people pay me to facilitate that change...like the guy I just finished with...and still resist. God bless him. He comes every two years, says the same stuff, loves me to bits, gets the same response and refuses to shift. Sigh. See ya in two years Buddy!

and I hate the word 'work' paired with relationships. It doesn't fit . Seriously, if a relationship is a lot of,'work', why would you do it. There is lots to learn, but learning doesn't have to be work.

I want to subscribe to YOUR newsletter, beth. Word.

I'm like a stress HEPA filter.

And you make the world a better place for it.

When I’m in that situation, I recite the Dune litany of fear…Fear is the mind killer, yada.

I read through your list , bonny. I 'd put "wants a real person , not an ideal" at the top of the list. Lots of the other parts of the list sort of fall underneath that

Excellent suggestion beth.

I am one of the histrionics people. I'm not terribly proud of it, but it's the way I'm wired. I cry at the drop of a hat: I cry when I'm angry, when I'm upset, when I'm tired ... you get the idea. But! I am capable of Dealing With Things while I'm sobbing.

If only more people could see the value in tears. Crying is a huge part of the dealing. I get clients who say, “I just can’t deal with this!!”

My reply is generally, But you ARE dealing with it…maybe not the way you think you want to, but hey, dealing.

The trick is to deal in a way that feels good or to feel good about the way you deal. Those seem like the only two options really.

Which is why I love the question on the front of Oriah Mountain Dreamer’s [yeah, I know, whatev] book The Dance.

“What if the question was not, why am I not the person I want to be, but rather, Why do I so seldom want to be the person I am?”

I (continued...)