yuck meara. I've ended friendships over similar stuff.

Somebody needs to send meara better lesbians, stat!

Sure, but by New Years they'll have fully integrated with the native population and all be exes of exes.

Ouch, meara.

I don't know that there's a website, but if people can't understand that jokes made to humiliate a race/group or that perpetuate stereotypes aren't funny, then I would have been left speechless, too.

So, were they saying that it was okay because there were no black people there, or that the joke wasn't racist?

...I think more of the latter, actually. I think they were trying to argue that it was some kind of "everyone ought to be able to tell all the jokes" sort of thing. And that "hey, all the funny jokes are based in stereotypes" thing (thus the discussion of the lesbians/UHaul joke, and why is THAT joke funny and OK, and not the one the other person told (which...also just wasn't funny. It was just stupid. If it had been that sort of "ooh, damn, that's kinda funny, except not when YOU are telling it, and not to THIS audience...." it might have been a different situation...hers was just...stupid. And unfunny. She was not EVEN, like...repeating a good Chris Rock joke or anything). And why is it OK for one person to tell jokes like that and not another person, and where do you draw the line, and blah blah blah...

...the sort of intellectual discussion about privilege and grey areas that is hard to have late at night in a noisy bar. But also that although I have read extensively about, and totally GROK, I have a very hard time VERBALIZING.

...am I making any sense here?

[edit: I was hoping someone could link me to a discussion of like, privilege, and that sort of shit, with talking points I could be like "BLAH!" next time]

Damn, meara. I know this one, a little bit.

What I do in these kind of situations is to tell a joke/say something offending "humorously" about the joke's teller race/culture/hairstyle etc. and then give them a "not amused by you, fucker" look. Usually start the joke/statement with "yeah, ha? But that's really not as bad as *enter joke/statement*".

Just to show them that no one is immune.

Michael Scott's a lesbian?

IIRC, Polish jokes were a Nazi thing, a propaganda tool to help them feel superior, and make the invasion/killing of Poles that much easier. When I called my dad a Nazi, it was then that he finally got the clue that racist jokes were not cool in my company.

...the sort of intellectual discussion about privilege and grey areas that is hard to have late at night in a noisy bar. But also that although I have read extensively about, and totally GROK, I have a very hard time VERBALIZING.

Wow, *I* could also really use this wisdom, for upcoming family-based holiday gatherings.

Bonus points if someone can come up with a retort for someone who pokes fun at you in a mean-spirited way, and then when you cry foul, pulls the "I was JUST KIDDING! Geez, can't you TAKE A JOKE???"

"I can if it's told by someone who can actually deliver it. Leno, you ain't."

Bonus points if someone can come up with a retort for someone who pokes fun at you in a mean-spirited way, and then when you cry foul, pulls the "I was JUST KIDDING! Geez, can't you TAKE A JOKE???"

Oooh, pick me, pick me!

My dazzling retort is....YOU PUNCH THEM IN THE NUTS! And when they object, you say it's slapstick! A tried and tested comedy style! And, hey, the bit where they doubled up in pain and made little retching noises sure made everyone else in the room giggle - comedy GOLD, baybee! Where's their sense of humour?