Barb, after nearly a decade of working in group homes where there are any number of variations on residents manipulating staff for their own entertainment, I have mastered the art of non-committal responses. Too bad you didn't know you were being set up beforehand so you reply with, "What would you like to do with it?" or "It's your choice", "Whatever you think is best", in a cheerful, pleasant, tone (repeat as needed, ad infinitum, same cheerful, pleasant tone as patient the 30th time the question is asked as the first time. That cheerful, pleasant tone can be like a brick wall for defense sometimes, especially when a resident is trying to make us loose our shit and get us in trouble (or they are looking for an excuse to have behaviors and attack). Same principles apply, I think.

Wrod. Pets cannot be replaced any more than I could replace any other member of my family by going out and adopting a new one. They are individuals and unique in what they contribute to the dynamic of any family -- and I think people who don't live with animals miss this part.

Sparky speaks for me. Grief is grief.

Bless you Beth. I hope your journey through this pain moves along and that you reach the place where your memories are warm rather than sharp.

Andi, I did know-- and I knew exactly where she was going with it. (And I did preface and follow up my original response with-- whatever makes you most comfortable, Mom.) I just wanted to see (for my own sick fascination) how far she's willing to play this.

She may have long been a master of this game, but I'm a very apt pupil and I actually have a lot more patience. I also have the benefit, if you can call it that, of being the baby, and in some ways, my mother still sees me that way. She's continually shocked by how much I can pick up via intuition and reading between the lines.

And while I despise game playing of this nature and generally refuse to engage, sometimes, turning her own tables on her is the only way to get her to see her behavior-- if only for a split second. Sadly, in this case, I don't think it's really going to matter. In her mind, she's got her second chance with the love of her life-- never mind that it's assing everyone else around her.

I'm sorry, Barb. That's just a crap situation.

Barb, I wish I could offer you sage advice, alas, I can not in this situation. I feel your pain, and send you support~ma. Families. Gotta love 'em! (even with clenched teeth)

I personally am not a pet owner. I love them. I have cat sat a number of times for various people. I play with peoples dogs when I can. But I realize pets are not for me. While visiting my sister last week, I was looking at their older dog, and realized I could see the age in her face. Something I've never seen before. She's been a part of that family in three houses now. A good 8 or 9 years. She runs to the door wagging her tail to greet me when ever I visit, no matter how long it's been, which is a far better response than strangers get, same run but with no tail wag and LOTS of barking. But her hip is getting painful, and she has slowed down. And I sat there thinking, wow, she really will be missed. Hopefully it won't happen for quite some time. But still, even as a non-pet owner, I feel your pain. I do wonder if that is why my Bro-In-Law got another puppy a few months ago. To help my niece with the transition. Dunno.

Anyhow, IOmeN, it is really good to be home. It's the simple things, like a bed larger and comfier than a cot. A removeable shower head to pulse on tired muscles. Privacy. And no dogs slobbering over. So I confess, I was the one who stole everyones sleep. My bad. sorry.

Pix, get better soon, k? Glad you called it in last night, so you can focus on getting rid of the ick today. Hopefully after all that you got some much needed sleep.

ND, what are you doing in Lodi?

There was more. But I'm late for work. So I'll buy a round of hugs for everyone. Social! Wheee! (ok, maybe I had too much sleep... WHEEE!)

{{{beth}}} It is so hard. I have my two new kittens (both of whom I love and enjoy), but I still get choked up when I think of my sweet Josie. Relationships with pets are all very different - you can't replace them. Still I always want pets because I can't imagine life without them.

It took me six months to even be willing to get another cat after Koogie died, and the primary motivator was how much Shadow, our other cat, was moping. Also Shadow was getting so fat he was having trouble getting through the cat door. Amon has been a wonderful cat, but I do still miss my old Koogie, curled up next to my head and drooling in my hair.

with the recent layoffs here at the work place, and desk space a premium, would it be uncouth to stake out one of the abandoned desks, so I don't have to share one in dank basement with others?

would it be uncouth to stake out one of the abandoned desks,

Oh god, no. You have to strike while the office supplies are available.

When I temped for many years, the only way I ever got a decent chair was to swap with somebody who'd just left.

Go for it, omnis.

Much ~ma and hugs all around this morning. I think I'm the one who stole all the sleep. Sorry.