It was the birthday party of the boy who died. It's just heartbreaking.

Are you there, God? It's me, Andi. This shit pisses me off. I'd tell you to knock it off, but if you are who I think you are, it pisses you off, too.

{{Bitches}}

I'm wondering. With the whole "grandfather's dying" and all. Yes, I'm sad about it. But sometimes, when I have the so-called choice between staying sad or getting excited and happy about something else that happens in my life, I don't know what to do. What to so-called choose. It's not that I'm sad about it all of the time, but when I have the chance to step out of it knowingly, I don't know what to do. So I'm wondering, how bad can I feel about something I can't change? Neither of the options feels right.

I don't like this situation.

Shir, how much did your Grandfather enjoy life? Living? Not just breathing and that stuff, but the 'smell the roses' things? IIRC, you mentioned he was full of life. Would he be happy seeing you enjoying life? Enjoying it for him? Finding things in life that he would like, and thinking of him, thus keeping his memory alive? I doubt any of our loved ones would want us to live in a constant state of sorrow after they leave. If they do, then they weren't worth our love. Go. Enjoy life. It doesn't have to be a one-or-the other situation. Never forget, but celebrate his life through yours! L'chei-im!!

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend's little boy, Trudy. My thoughts are with them.

Shir, I completely agree with what Omnis said, fwiw.

Hugs to Laura. Nice to see you!

Sail, your daughter is, as always, gaw-jus. Just like her mom.

I was a good teacher and graded essays for the last six hours. I can't believe it's already 11. Blah. Donwanna get up in six and a half hours.

I'd really wish I could say he enjoyed life, but my grandfather's coming from a strict Austro-Hungarian heritage. He took the hardest paths of life because he was sure that's the proper way to live and be a man, thinking he was superman and knows better than anyone else. He's a hard man. A hard man who's scared to die. I asked him how he was when I was in the hospital, and he replied "miserable". He did it with a smile. Not because he's having fun out of it, but because "hey, there's nothing else to do".

Trudy - there aren't any words. Healing~ma to the injured boy. Much comfort to the parents.

Javachik, may those links stay put.

Sending the ~ma for your DH, Sox.

Javachik, what a roller coaster! You really do deserve a nice rewarding break.

Shir, just as your grandfather chose his path you must choose yours. I believe he would like to see you choose a path filled with joy and happiness. Loss and grief are a part of life, but life is not in proper balance without the delights and pleasures.

2 more weeks in this first session of school. I am trying to kick some teenage butt so that we don't have to suffer too badly when the first report arrives. Ugh. Also, my son shaved his eyebrows last night over some football bet. DH didn't even notice this morning. I'm going to wait and see how long it takes. He sent me a picture. I'll put it up in a bit.

Lots of ~ma for your DH, Sox. This has got to be nerve wracking for you guys.

Shir, grief doesn't follow the same pattern for everyone and you can only be honest with your feelings and deal with how YOU feel. Oh, and what everyone else said, too.

Laura, good luck with the butt kicking. Don't forget a ladder. What IS it with teenage boys and their eyebrows. A friend of mine in high school also shaved his eyebrows. He made the mistake of doing it right before class pictures, too, so the event is officially remembered.

Eyebrows: Before [link] After [link] And the next picture is my newest cutiehead great niece [link]

And off to the races school and work....

eta: yes, it was a self-portrait with his cell phone

~mas to Trudy and Sox.

Thanks, everyone. It's a tiny-step by tiny-step process.